I am not a person who can turn my anger into art. I remember all those decades ago when Alanis Morissette came out with Jagged Little Pill. She–and that album of angry tunes–were all anyone could talk about. It was so revolutionary, I guess, that a woman would channel her anger into music. Either that or nobody had bothered to remember Loretta Lynn.
I’m angry about something, but I don’t know what. It’s been this way for six months or so; I’m not sure which of the triggers or life changes set it off, but it’s there and it’s grumpy.
Anger is not something I’m ashamed of, nor is it a sin. Channelling it, however, is not something I’m good at creatively. When I’ve got anger to burn off I usually exercise to loud and pounding music like Duran Duran’s “Wild Boys”. I can’t take anger and turn it into a story. If I try to turn it into a blog post (eg. the one about the Christys) it just pours gasoline on the fire and explodes into more white-hot rage.
I thought about painting or drawing but I really don’t want to look at endless slashes of red and orange. Instead of feeling like I’ve properly expressed my anger I just see that kind of art and get hungry for Burger King.
At dinner with friends last night one of my compatriots said “you’re hanging out with the wrong people.” This would be entirely true if I were, indeed, hanging out with any people at all. Howard Hughes and Greta Garbo saw more people in a given day than I do. Then again, they did not have the internet, and that tends to be where I find all these wrong people to hang out with.
Back in the days of Nashville is Talking and, later, Music City Bloggers I read a lot of blogs. Many of those blogs were angry and kept me in this angry sort of mood. I realised a couple of weeks ago that I’d accidentally fallen into the same habit of mind I had all those years ago and was again reading a lot of angry blogs. Back then they were angry about politics. Now they’re angry about religion. It’s ironic that so much of what I read from various professing Christians is so angry. Well, not the anger itself but the fact that the anger is so misused. Folks are angry over music choice or someone else’s sexual preference. No one is angry about hunger or human trafficking or the scarcity of clean water in so many communities around the globe.
Just like with those other NiT/MCB blogs, I’m glad that being in this realm led me to people I consider good friends. But just like back then I’m going to have to keep the friends and jettison the blogroll.