Red Vs. Blue–The Musical

At the risk of pulling a South Park Conservatives slash Hank Hill pop culture interpretation of our current politcal climate, I have been struck by a realization.

The encapsulation of the differences between Red Vs. Blue are nicely summed up from both points of view in one tidy little package.

The Music Man

River City-zens are the Red Staters.

But what the heck, you’re welcome
Join us at the picnic
You can have your fill
Of all the food you bring yourself.
You really ought to give Iowa a try.

…..

But, we’ll give you our shirt
And a back to go with it
If your crops should happen to die

Like Red Staters everywhere (I’m proudly one, a born and bred Hoosier) they believe in hard work, self-respect and minding one’s own business. If any one is in truly dire straits, however, a Red Stater will step in, if it means rebuilding your barn or your national infrastructure.

Marian the Librarian is a Blue-Stater. Red-Stater by birth and upbringing she is ashamed of what she sees as the provincial nature of her hometown.

Now, Mama
As long as the Madison Public Library was entrusted
to me for the purpose of improving River City’s
cultural level, I can’t help my concern that the
ladies of River City kep ignoring all my council and advice

Mayor Shin, with his “Last Days of Pompee-eye” speech is none other than George W. Bush of course.

Then there’s Harold Hill. Or, as I like to call him, the MSM. Who else inflates non-issues to work up unsuspeting people into a frenzy for his un-researched flim-flam?

Now one fine night they leave the pool hall
headin’ for the dance at the Armory
Libertine men and scarlet women and ragtime
Shameless music that’ll grab your son, your daughter
into the arms of a jungle animal instinct- massteria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil’s playground, trouble!

Townspeople: Oh, we got trouble

Of course, I won’t even touch the issue of the romance between Blue States and MSM…

There you go again with the same old comment
About the low mentality of River City people
And takin’ it all too much to heart.

Or perhaps I shouldn’t listen to musicals while I play the Sims.

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You Kids Keep Off My Lawn

iTunes has just made me feel like the crankiest old beech alive.

A) I don’t care about the “Free Download of the Week” and never seem to, because it’s always some suburban homeboy krep.

B) Civilization is over. The latest evidence of this is Jessica Simpson’s abysmal Suburban Homeboyesque cover of the best Chick’s Takin’ Out The Trash song of all time. For those who think that “I Will Survive” is the best CTOTTSOAT, I merely have to say this:Would you rather tell your ex that he needs to walk out the door but you’ll still be okay or that you are gonna grind your stiletto heels into his liver?

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Chickenhawks

The comments on this post (hey, Jason, small world!) have got me riled.

Specifically, this:

My remarks were to point out how many of the pro-war activists are never going to see action. It is much easier to send people to war when you have never seen action yourself.

Easy, huh? Yeah, it’s been really easy to just say “eh, so what about your son, Pamela. I know he’s the apple of your eye, but I want cheap gas.”

I didn’t want to go to war. I didn’t rejoice at the prospect. But I was glad when we finally acknowledged that there was a need and resolved to fight it properly. I am grateful for the men and women who do go, endlessly so. They are professionals who are doing their duty and I honor them for that. Nevertheless, it is not “easy” to let them go, or hear of their deaths or watch others make light of their service because it suits their own personal agenda vis-a-vis the current administration. I pray daily for an end to this war that brings fair treatment to all. I’m very much in favour of leaving Iraq, but I don’t want to err by leaving the Iraqis without support. There has been precedent for world power nations offering fiscal, troop and materiél support and then leaving once an independent democracy is formed.

None of these are easy questions to ask, and the answers aren’t easy to give.

Side Note 1 I am in favour of going to my urologist, even though I never had the guts to go to med school myself.

Side Note 2 I really wish they’d stop using the term “Chickenhawk” for non-combatant war supporters. Where I come from this word has much more evil connotations and use of it as a perjorative, while clever, is not promoting rational discourse.

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And Each Man Fixed His Eyes Before His Feet

I didn’t watch the speech last night. I figured the blogosphere will just tell me what to think about this difficult issue regardless.

Gosh. Geopolitics must be easy when you are a songwriter. Or a journalist at an alternative ‘zine.

GWB is not my favourite President by a long shot, but I did vote for him twice because he seemed to grasp the importance of vigilance. I haven’t agreed with many decisions he’s made recently, but I’m not gloating over the drop in his poll numbers either.

Should we leave Iraq? Yes. When? I don’t know, but I certainly don’t think we should tell the world in advance. That’s taping the world’s largest “kick me” sign on the backs of the newly-freed Iraqis.

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D I V O R C E

* Phone Rings*’

Me: I knew it would be you!

Tim: How in the **** [word for Biblical Hot Place Sensored so that I don’t get the Parental Advisory from Patrick…] does “For Better Or Worse” qualify as the ‘U’ link?

Me: Because it’s at the United Media Comics site.

Tim: That’s like the Lord’s Prayer coming up under ‘V’

Me: Cause it’s at Verbal Aramaic or Vocal Aramaic or something like that.

Tim: That’s cheap. You’re not following the rules

Me: [indignantly] I am SO! The rule is that you clear out your thingyspace and the first letter you type and what comes up is the link. [verbal abilities compromised by indignance]

Tim: I just think you’re taking advantage of a loophole. got another call gottagobye

Me: [Hanging up] You’re a loophole.

Lacy, I hope you’re happy.

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These Are The URLs in Your Neighborhood…

The URLs you visit each day. Lacy suggested this activity, and so I’m playing along because it sounds like fun.

What is the first website that comes up automatically with each letter of the alphabet? Well, let’s see.

A: Amazon

B: Blogger

C: CBS Marketwatch

Noticing a pattern? I’m apparently a very predictable 56 year old man. Which would be fine. If I weren’t a 35 year old woman.

D: Dictionary.com *Whew*. That was close. 3 days ago I was trying to settle an argument with my brother Dave, so I looked something up on Dancing With The Stars. Fortunately that URL is fourth or fifth on the list. Can you imagine what a dork I’d feel like if that was what came up?

E: Excite.com I am the only person in the world who still uses this portal as their homepage.

F: Forums for The Sims Resource Why did my babydaddy die? Why?!?

G: GetReligion.org Great blog on religion.

H: Hard Right Good libertarian blogging. I agree with about 65% of his posts, but he did say that I was funny yesterday, so I like him regardless.

I: Instapundit Like he needs the traffic….

J: Jackson Miller Blogger who thinks it’s in the Bible that we should steal music. We’ve been arguing. Actually, I’ve been leaving him scathing comments which he ignores. Same difference.

K: Kelly Blue Book Apparently Grover is worth just about the same amount that we put into repairing him.

L: Lileks

M: Mycropht This is actually here. I use my blogroll as a bookmark file, so I bounce back here alot. My name, which I use for my various ventures, comes from Sherlock Holmes.

N: Nashville Is Talking

O: Mac Development Center at O’Reilly Net

P: Patrick and Lydia

Q: Article on split financial decisions between gays and straights at Queery.com This topic fascinates me. I’ve watched my gay friends and coworkers spend their money totally different than me for years. I thought it was just me, but apparently it’s a broader pattern.

R: Relapsed Catholic I got hooked on Kathy Shaidle during the Benedictine Conclave. Great reading for Protestants, too. Although I suspect that, like me, other protestants aren’t as invested in the canonization of Karol Wojtyla John Paul II.

S: Lacy

T: The Sims Resource Fine furniture for fake friends.

U: For Better Or Worse I’ve been reading this comic for more than 10 years now. Enjoy it, but I pretty much hate all the April storylines, and not because Farley died while saving her. She’s just a pinhead.

V: Lord’s Prayer in Aramaic

W: Nashville Public Library

X: Nothing. Which is good. Most sites beginning with “X” are to boom-chaka-laka-boom for me.

Y: Yahoo

Z: Zoo Blogger Another Nashville blogger with an esoteric interest. She also blogs at The Scottish Blog .

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TBR Pile

Just Finished : The Summer Of Us by Holly Chamberlain Genre: Chick Lit Grade : C- Hot Sell Tagline: Sex In The City meets Bridget Jones What I Liked About It: Light summer read. What I Didn’t Like About It: Unsympathetic characters who are cruel to one another and the men in their life. Obligatory GLBT Score: 10 out of 10. Lesbian best friend in love with a main character.

Re-reading: Prizes by Erich Segal Genre: Novel Grade : B+ Hot Sell Tagline: Little Man Tate as re-written by the author of Love Story What I Like About It: Great characters and an interesting look at the various types of genius and the toll of being extraordinary. What I Didn’t Like About It Last Time: Segal doesn’t write intrigue very well. He would do best to stick with interpersonal interplay. Obligatory GLBT Score: 1 out of 10. Possible bi-sexual character whose ambiguity is never resolved.

On Deck:

The Loch by Steve Alten

One Shot by Lee Child

The Gnostic Gospels of Jesus: The Definitive Collection of Mystical Gospels and Secret Books About Jesus Of Nazareth by Marvin Meyer

From the Library of C. S. Lewis : Selections from Writers Who Influenced His Spiritual Journey (A Writers’ Palette Book) by James Stuart Bell

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Wha????

The headline for this article puzzles me.

Rachel Griffiths Said To Give Birth

Who writes these things? At this moment in time I am wondering if I will now miraculously conceive. Darn it, If Rachel Griffiths said it, then I probably should.

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Remember That Episode Where Laura Thought She Found Gold?

Dudes, Major TV Moment this weekend.

Although calling three people getting together a “cast reunion” is lame.

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Wealth Only

Don’t worry, Oprah. I’m pretty sure that Hermes Paris won’t let me shop after hours, either. And I’m as white as a fish belly.

I do take comfort in knowing that others have found ingenious ways of thwarting this potential racism:

Emil Wilbekin, former editor of Vibe magazine, said it’s not uncommon for black celebrities to receive poor treatment at high-end stores, where there are virtually no minorities in top positions. Sean “P. Diddy” Combs has devised a tactic to avoid poor treatment, he said.
“Puffy sends his people ahead to stores and shuts them down so he can shop privately, so this kind of thing doesn’t happen,” Wilbekin said. “I’ve worked with young people who wanted to be stylists and work in fashion and they’ve never gone into a high-end boutique … because they were afraid. They didn’t think they were allowed. What flashes in my mind are images of water fountains that say ‘whites only.'”

That’s EXACTLY the image I had in mind when I think of multi-millionaire black shoppers being turned away from high-priced boutiques for late night shopping. I did hear, though, that it is impossible for a black person to get a tuna fish sandwich from Hermes’ lunch counter.

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