I Can’t Believe I Just Did That

I just wrote a 600-word post about the recent death of a former friend and then decided not to publish it because it might upset my sister in law.

I didn’t used to blog that way and I can’t decide if this whole “considering your audience” thing is good or bad. I usually write this blog for me. It’s my place for my opinions. But lately, more than once, I’ve made it through part or all of a post and then scuttled the thing out of respect for this or that reader.

I’m torn. Because I do think that it is a gift people give me, to take their valuable time to read what I have to say. At the most basic level I think that it is just plain decent to not throw that generosity back in someone’s face.

But then again, if I’m writing to express my views on the world, how is it helpful to keep my mouth shut?

I’ve been keeping my mouth and keyboard shut a lot more lately. I guess it’s a good thing, a Christian thing. But then again, I believe in treating others the way you would like to be treated. Call me crazy, but I vastly prefer it when people are honest with me. A couple of years ago when I ran a local blog consortium for about five minutes I discovered that a lot of people who had feigned friendship for several years–even been to my home for a meal*–just didn’t like me at all. They thought it was polite to ACT like they did, though. Uh, that’s not my thing. If you don’t like me, I’d much rather know that up front and not worry about bothering with you anymore. Finding out in a series of blog comments you think I won’t read is, uh, not fun.

So anyway, I say what I think. But apparently I no longer blog everything I think. Good thing I have the dogs to talk to.

*I’m really funny about this. I’m really particular about having people into my home. I view it as a quasi-intimate thing. To come to my house and break bread is, to me, a particular gesture of deeper friendship.

**I should clarify that the unpublished article wasn’t mean. It just discussed some things that are probably better kept private for the sake of surviving family members.