Dear Woman In Olive Garden

I know you think your little girl is adorable. I also know that Chap Stik is relatively inexpensive. But when you watch your two-year-old smear great big globs of Chap Stik on the bench where other people are going to sit, the least you could do is clean it up.

Especially when the pushy woman says “your daughter got Chap Stik all over the seat” and you say “Yeah, I know” and the pushy woman tells you “you ought to clean that up” and you say “Yeah, I will.”

For heaven’s sake, woman. You brought a human life onto this earth. Exercise a little responsibility and don’t be disgusting.

As it was, another woman had to come along after you to wipe off the seat. I sure as hell wasn’t gonna do it. I imagine society will have to clean up a lot of messes after you and your kid as it is.