Kerry Woo wants me to tell people six kinds of wierdness that I have. This may be difficult since most of this blog is about chronicling my oddities in long form. But since I love to be tagged, I guess I’ll try and go along with this.
And, oh yeah, I was correct. I have kind of done this before. Except that one was only five. And now I have to come up with SIX more…which brings me near a dozen kinds of weird. I’ll play along as long as this doesn’t end up being used at my eventual commitment hearing(s).
1. I am afraid of antiques.
I know I’ve said this before, but it cannot be said enough. Antiques are scary. Whenever I look at a piece of antique furniture it seems to hold a part of the spirits of all the now-dead people who touched it, used it and looked at it. I feel like antiques shout the banality of the dead whenever I walk by. The worst kinds of antiques are those horrible metal toys. Really, what kind of freak not only took the time to think this up but manufacture it as well?
I am also afraid of clowns, but that doesn’t count as wierd, since many people feel the same way.
2. I cannot eat food that has been in or near a bathroom.
Again, something I’ve mentioned but must be mentioned again. You wanna know how engrained this has become for the people who know me? Last summer I was in the bathroom and shouted for my husband to bring me some medication. He brought it and stood patiently outside the door. When I screamed (I was in considerable pain) at him to bring it to me in the bathroom he decided then and there that I needed to go to the emergency room. If I’m sick enough to wash a pill down with a sip of water while in the bathroom, I’m pretty darned sick.
Let it be known that I no longer will drink out of that glass. Or any of the other 5 glasses in the cupboard which are identical to it. Six months later.
3. I invent things in my head to try to fall asleep faster.
Whenever I can’t fall asleep I try to think through an invention in my head. They’re generally “impossible” things, like a vat of jelly you could sleep in just like a tub but without drowning. Usually thinking through the mechanics of the thing lulls my mind.
4. I crave weird pets.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my dogs. I really do. They are my children. But if I had my way (and a much more permissable husband) I would also have a pig, a bat and a monkey. I think all of these animals are both smart and adorable. Don’t believe me? check this out.
5. I once learned the entire German-language version of ’99 Luftbalons’ just because.
I can’t hardly remember it now, because I’ve tried to block all knowledge of German from my mind. But my favourite part of the song was when it would be all german german german Captain Kirk german german german. I just thought that was funny.
6. I spent an entire year with my Spanish teacher convinced my name was Francesca.
She was half nuts. Her name was–no joke–Mrs. Strange, and she would spend many class hours telling us how she once made a chocolate milkshake for Jose ‘Feliz Navidad’ Feliciano. Everyone was supposed to go by a Spanish-ised version of his or her name in class, but I insisted that Francine was my second-middle name and wanted to go by Francesca. The sad part? Three months into it I felt ridiculous whenever she would refer to me as ‘Francesca’ and desperately wanted to revert to Katerina. But no. I was hoist by mine own petard.
I should tag others, but I won’t because everyone seems to have done this already. If you haven’t and you want to, climb aboard.