I have a confession to make–one I’m quite embarrassed about.
For years I’ve not minded “swearing”. I’ve even used it as a method of pain control.
Actually, I am not fond of the various terms used to describe the use of Anglo-Saxonisms in modern speech. “Swearing” implies that you are making a religious statement, and the words I’ve used are definitely not that. Unless you worship poo. “Cursing” implies that you are either a fairy tale character or involved, like in “Swearing”, with religious words that instruct a deity to impart bad consequences on the direct object of your invective verb.
And “Cussing”–one of the top ten Words I Hate–just sounds like baby talk. “Mama, I got a boo-boo ouchie so I cussed.” Every time I hear someone say “cuss” I want to grab them by the lapels and insist that as an adult they speak like one. Granted, I have no idea why I’ve come to dislike the word Cuss so much, but I do. Maybe it’s because it shares a front half with another word I hate even more.
For lack of any other options, that leaves me with the term “Anglo-Saxonisms” to discuss the words I mean. My mother would call these terms “barnyard language” but whenever I hear that phrase I can only think Four legs good, two legs bad.
Some of my favourite shows–The Wire, Deadwood–are replete with Anglo-Saxonry and I can watch them for hours without batting an eye.
But lately I’ve noticed something happening–and here’s where the confession comes in.
My tolerance for this word usage is rapidly dropping. Last night while browsing a popular social medium I saw several examples of what most people consider to be The Worst of the usual suspects. I go to this particular site to relax and look at things that inspire me. Most of what ends up there are lovely pictures of gardens, artwork, President Lincoln. But a few friends add things that feature The Eff Word prominently. Now in years past that’s not been I word I’ve minded. It’s a piece of language like any other and in my view the only thing that gives it power are the people who give it power. I’ve generally felt–up til now–that if I didn’t treat it like a big deal it wasn’t going to be one.
Last night as I stumbled over it again and again it became like a bruise on an apple. Every instance where it was used it was meant as an assault. If someone were to say “look at this lovely effing car” I’d have no problem. But I think, now as I type this out and look at it with a morning’s eye I see what bothers me are the times when the person using it is making an assaulting statement. “You are so effing stupid.” “What the eff is your problem?”
I think I may start calling these “Hollow-Point”* words. Like the bullets, these words in this context are designed to give your strike maximum damage. And in reality they have no other point but to wound. Clearly if someone says you are effing stupid they don’t mean that your sexual knowledge is lacking. So the word itself has an empty point. It’s only there as an assault.
I think that’s why I’ve started to mind hollow point words more than I used to. In some contexts they are like little flecks of snot that escape from an uncovered sneeze, and exist only to foul the air and wound anyone within earshot. So its perhaps not so much the words I mind as the attitude that propels them into the air.
——
(Is anyone else as annoyed as I by the amount of quotes in this blog entry? It’s grammatically correct, but I feel like someone has sprinkled a rainstorm on my writing.)
Just Another Pretty Farce 
The New Yorker used to call that variety of Anglo-Saxonism “words of four letters.” Which phrase they used as understated commentary on goofiness or cluelessness (usually of the awkward metaphor type) in the little fillers they put in at the bottom of columns. When I was 11 I thought that was devastatingly witty.
How do you react to folks like the Irish, who seem to use “fuck” as an all-purpose interjection or place-filler, with no particular ill-will at all, so far as I can figure?
It really still doesn’t bother me when the words are used as innocuous adjectives or injections. In writing this piece this morning I began with the thesis that the words WERE starting to bother me because of how troubled I’ve been by them over the last 3-4 days. But then as I thought through the writing of the piece it dawned on me that my problem has, in each and every circumstance, been the attitude behind the word which I found objectionable.
I can be reading a book, for instance, where someone talks about “f—g like rabbits” and it barely registers. But then I see a FB jokey jpeg that says “What the f—- is your problem?” and I have a visceral reaction.
It’s really the worst on Pinterest. There’s nothing like looking at 50 pictures of beautiful or interesting things and then having a “you’re a f—/g idiot” graphic shoved in your face.
Pardon the brevity and the typos. This was sent from my iPhone.
Your words have encapsulated why I find so much political “debate” and “commentary” from people I know a massive turn off. Bravo.
Well, thank you. And yes, I’m in the same place. Folks aren’t discussing ideas anymore as much as they are engaging in supposedly-witty barbs and gotcha-quotes. With the occasional hollow-point word for maximum discourtesy.
Last but not least, I’m very glad to “meet” you. Checked out your website and am really intrigued. I feel a deep kinship already, given that I, too, read all of Agatha Christie’s books as a kid.
Yes, fuck seems to be Irish street language. A long time ago, I looked up a parental advisory on the movie “Once”, which has no sex and no violence, but 29 uses of the eff word. For some parents, that would be enough to not allow children to watch it, even with its moral message and really cool music.
I just had the language argument w/ my parents, who think “bad” language is low class and uncreative. I had to ask them if they found Shakespeare or Chaucer uncreative, since they used the street language of the day. Personally, I would rather use the eff word as a hollow point on rare occasions because it feels so good to toss it off when outraged.
You sound like you’ve had the same argument with your parents that I’ve had with mine.
I still haven’t seen _Once_. I take it that you recommend it?
I liked the idea that two musicians could get together and have a platonic meeting of souls, w/o romance or smut, which is the basic plot. I also like the folksy Irish music–it’s even better knowing that the actors are the real musicians involved. I hate to admit this, but the first time I watched it, I had a terrible hangover, and I still enjoyed it.
This is really thought provoking for me. For a very long time I did not use any Anglo-Saxonisms. Not because I care at all, but because I felt like if no one ever heard me use them, when I did use them they would then have that much more power to indicate just how angry, upset or alarmist I was at the time.
I have recently taken up using them pretty liberally. I am, I think, using them almost entirely as injections or as positive descriptors. I just went back through my morning’s email correspondence and found where I said, “I’m not even interested in the fandom until the fucking movie comes out. How does any of it matter if we don’t know what canon is?” Which I am now contemplating, as it isn’t a negative usage, nor positive, it’s an adjective describing the movie, but how? It isn’t really saying anything at all. Irish punctuation, I guess?
However, yes, I feel you very much. The negative uses are offensive and it is exactly because the user intends it to be offensive. I recently ended a possibly budding relationship because he told me to fuck off in a text message. He claims he didn’t mean it and wouldn’t have said it if he hadn’t been drinking (warning sign 2) but it really is about intent. And I’m 100% fine making my own arbitrary rules about this. So when I just said to a friend, “I was thinking about about going hiking Sunday but the weather says fuck no,” it’s a-okay, but anyone, ever, telling me to fuck off is never going to be fine, even in “jest.”
I used to be, like you, saving the words for maximum effect. I wanted people to know that if I were dropping a hollow-point it was because I was THAT mad or sad. When I started using them for pain control, however, all of the studies showed that they work best when you use them only in that context. Sort of like opiates, they lose their effectiveness if you develop a tolerance. 🙂
At that point I pretty much dropped all usage, save the very occasional moments of extreme anger or frustration. And then only with a very limited audience. My heretofore unstated rule was that I’d only use hollowpoints (I’m liking this new term even better than ASisms) in conversation with people I’d undress in front of. That is a very limited group of people, I promise.
On another note, which fandom are you holding off on until the movie? Hunger Games? Just curious. :p
Wow, okay, I have just thought WAY too much about this as I ate my lunch. Though as I mentioned above, it is a very thought provoking topic for me. I think much of my line of thinking is too personal to put here, but I do readily agree with the commenter below about it debasing the use of language, long considered a no-no among writers and well-read literary types. Despite my advocacy for my own use of those words as frequently as I like, his point is excellent and well taken. But the more I think about, the more I feel like I deserve my hollowpoints as long as I am not abusing them, by which I mean using them intentionally negatively and insultingly. I think part of this is my long exposure to British and Irish culture where they have become meaningless words. Your metaphor of them like opiates is exactly the reason I didn’t use those words for so long.
Also I think much of the problem is that people in general no longer understand the basic boundaries of societal niceties. I swear in conversation with my close friends, with my sisters (though not much with my parents who, ironically, use those hollowpoints much more than I do). I will do it in my blog (a place for adults) or in my writing if it’s necessary to make a point, at a party (where children aren’t present), very, very occasionally at work (I work in a very male dominated profession and my use of a four letter word is usually looked on as cute and funny if I do it–which is another rant for another place). I do it on fewer occasions, but I do it on Facebook, as it is 1) my space, literally a place of my things and thoughts, and 2) everyone reading it is over the age of consent. I do not do it professional situations with clients or vendors. I do not do it loudly in public places. I would do it on my Tumblr but not on Pinterest. (Is this starting to feeling unnaturally Seussian to anyone else?) Because there is a time and place for everything. And to me, at least, there isn’t much difference in knowing when it’s okay to use salty language and knowing when a dirty t-shirt would be inappropriate attire. So young ladies dressed to work in offices in sleeveless tops and flip flops bother me a lot while I freely admit that I publicly say terrible words that might offend many people, because hopefully I am mostly just using them in appropriate context, in appropriate company.
Though I am neither devoutly nor openly religious I really try to refrain from any “Lord’s name in vain” usage. It’s not always easy, partly because it’s hard to know what will offend in any given circumstance. I think I am a frequenter of “damn” but not in combination with the Lord’s name, and I find the entire sub set of “Christ on a cracker” type usage to be occasionally creative but always appalling. My usage is limited to the four letter hollowpoints in an expressive way that I am pretty comfortable with, even if I know it makes people uncomfortable. And finally, for the personal reasons I won’t go into, I am, I believe, allowed to make people uncomfortable because I am an uncomfortable thing in our society (single, female above a certain age, childfree, eccentric and not easily slotted into any socially proscribed category).
As for the movie, it was “The Avengers.” I believe book canon always supersedes movie canon (reducing some movies, in my opinion, to bad fanfiction), but comics I have no particular opinion about, so I’m waiting for the movie to tell me the story. 🙂
And although, it wasn’t from this thread, I would greatly recommend “Once” to anyone who likes music. I found it very sweet and lovely without being cloying or cute.
Interesting post!
Personally, I’ve come around to nearly the exact opposite view. It is the lazy, casual use of the “F” word that offends me most. More and more, I find myself assaulted by thoughtless, relentless, and *pointless* inundations, such as “Is there anyone more f*cking awesome than Sam Motherf*cking Rockwell? That f*cker elevates every f*cking movie he’s in!” I just find myself wondering, “Why are you using hard, abrasive language to describe something you *like?*”
I feel like harsh words *should* be used to denote venom, conflict, or aggressiveness. That’s what they’re for. Flinging them about casually, as in your example (“look at this lovely effing car”) strikes me as abusive — not to others, but to language itself. (Maybe that’s a little pretentious, but we’re writers. We’re allowed to be a little pretentious.)
One of my fiance’s worst habits is her use of the phrase “Jesus F*cking Christ,” which is offensive to me because it’s incredibly specific, as if it were engineered for the sole purpose of being sacrilegious and abusive. She doesn’t mean anything by it, it’s just a habit. But sometimes I just have to stop and ask, “Does dropping the toothpaste *really* necessitate that sort of ejaculation?”
In this writer’s humble opinion, save abrasive language for when you’re trying to be abrasive. (And, hey, why not try to be abrasive a little less often, while we’re at it?)
At any rate, a friend directed me to this blog entry today, and I’m grateful. I enjoy reading your posts. 🙂
It’s nice to have you here. May I ask which friend directed you? I’ve got a nice influx of new, friendly people today and I’m much enjoying it. 🙂
I most likely wasn’t clear enough, even with myself, because while I was reading your comment I was reflecting on some of the things that have bothered me lately and I realise that in a few instances they WERE casual comments. But they were coming from someone who strikes me as fundamentally angry so I can’t decide if I’m more bothered by what seems like casual (mis)use of a serious linguistic tool or just by the general need to insert offense and express anger at every possible turn. Using a previous commenter as an example, I know Crackerjack Heart well enough to know that she isn’t angry all the time, so if I heard her say “the f—-g car” in a casual way I’d just take it as a speech rhythm or linguistic tic.
It isn’t fair and I HATE being inconsistent. I’m actually kind of ashamed at myself for being this internally inconsistent about what bothers me and doesn’t. Even with entertainment–I don’t care at all about it on Deadwood or The Wire or Sons of Anarchy, but it really bugs me in comedy or romance.
It was, in fact, Mr. Johne Cook, a longtime friend and fellow Overlord at Ray Gun Revival.
On the topic of inconsistency, I should point out that my sanctimonious opinion should not give one the impression that I am innocent of language abuse. After years of proudly exercising my linguistic freedom, I *am* trying to change the way I express myself. As with everything else, my advancing age seems to bring with it moderation. Still, when I’m excited, or (especially) when I’ve had one or two (or eight or ten) cocktails, I’m as guilty as anyone else.
My father did not swear. My mother did, and he hated it. So I grew up thinking of cursing as an interaction: “shit!” “Rachel!”
Can I just say that any post that contains commentary from Katherine Coble, Mary Sutton, and PCG draws out a cross-section of people I think so very highly of? (And while I’m cringing at how that sentence turned out, I can’t think of a better way to phrase, so I’m leaving it as/is.)
I’m flattered. Or am I f—g flattered? (joke. I mean I’m really flattered….how best to express it? Maybe, on second thought, not that way. 🙂 )
There are a few places where I actually appreciate salty language. The language in Justified, for example, is just right, a little salt for savor without constant Deadwoodisms (there’s a Timothy Olyphant joke in there somewhere). Somehow the measured and occasional vulgarity in Justified makes me appreciate the ‘this is a grown up look at dangerous people’ vibe. It’s a show for me, not a show for the family.
That is an excellent example of what I was thinking about a time and place for it. Family hour sitcoms? No. Justified and The Wire? Yes. Multigenerational family gathering? No. Quiet conversation at the pub with your friends? Yes.
Since language is just another way through which people establish identity, it’s only sensible to treat it like clothes or jewelry or anything else you use to adorn your person.
Since I tend to be highly guarded and was raised in a home with no use of “gutter talk” I associate hollow points with not only deep emotion but also a degree of vulnerability. I only use them in situations where vulnerability is not a liability.
And yes, I think what you’ve described does a lot to get at why I’m SOOOO uncomfortable with it on Pinterest. Pinterest has such an atmosphere of happy innocence and discovery of wonder that it feels much more base and cruel than on, say, a punk music blog.
Pardon the brevity and the typos. This was sent from my iPhone.
It’s like jewelry. Less is better — and you can always omit that extra piece.
Hey, like Mark Twain said: Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.