1. The movie “Bridesmaids” is not funny, not feminist and really kind of too long and a bit boring.
2. Even if you’ve already read it half a dozen times, Helter Skelter will still scare the pants off you. You musn’t read it alone or after dark. Which means that I’ll probably just move on.
3. I’m allergic to red onions. Apparently Allium allergies are common, but most people who have them are allergic to all varieties of onion. The red onions only variety exists but is rare. So there’s yet ANOTHER rare quirk I have. I’m starting to suspect that when the doctors brought me back to life as a baby they forgot a key portion. I’m like Frankenstein’s Monster without a villager’s left arm.
4. Never go to Disney World without a Rental Car. You can get one for $15/day now, which is about the cost of a cheeseburger meal for one person in the parks. Without a car you are at the mercy of Disney’s public transit system. While that may seem romantic and vacationish (“I don’t have to drive”) it’s actually the biggest funkiller on property. Last time we went we turned in our car after two days. A trip from our hotel to Epcot took at least an hour. This trip I was surprised to realise that Epcot is actually only ten minutes away from our hotel. That’s because our rental car didn’t make us wait standing on a curb for 20 minutes, pause to load in someone with an ECV and then pick up 30 more people at Fort Wilderness first. There’s also the benefit of the valuable decompression time. After being saturated with Disney and Other People, it is like a tonic to be all alone in an unDisney, empty space. Trust me.
5. I missed writing my stories while I was gone. By the end of the week I was working on them in my head even though I swore I’d take the week off.
6. Never look at pictures of your dogs, from whom you’ve been separated for a week, while listening to Van Morrison’s cover of “Carrickfergus”.
7. There are lots of books on Kindle about Midwives. Not all of them are that great.
8. “The Playboy Club” is possibly the dullest show in the universe. The mob? Really? What makes you think that anyone interested in the Playboy Club is going to care about the Chicago Mob and Chicago Politics? I think I’ll just hunt down that Kirstie Alley movie about Gloria Steinem’s Bunny experiences again. That was more the type of thing I was looking for.
9. My dog Gob (we pronounce it like Joe with a B on the end) got called “gob” for an entire 10 days. Like “gob of phlegm”. From now on I’m just going to tell people his name is Joe B. and he’ll get called Gobie all the time. Why would anyone call a dog “gob”? Why? Why?????
10. I still get massively sick after big events and plane rides. See #3.
Just Another Pretty Farce 
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