Yesterday I read the first true-crime book I’ve picked up in over a year. It was a genre I used to love because of the anthropological and atmospheric nature of the earliest works such as _In Cold Blood_ and _Helter Skelter_. But when the market was flooded with junky, prurient titles that emphasised gore over human nature I got sick of trying to glean the better stuff. I also got sick of every marriage I read about ending in a murder for insurance money.
So I was a bit surprised to find myself compelled to read Gregg Olsen’s A Twisted Faith: A Minister’s Obsession and the Murder That Destroyed A Church. I suppose something about the current discussions I’ve found myself in about the nature of Christianity and the culture of the modern church had something to do with it.
It was interesting to see an outsider’s take on a church family and the church-centered world so much like the one I grew up in. Granted, Assemblies Of God are quite a bit different from Evangelical Mennonite Churches both in belief and worship style. But the core type of people, devout and devoted, are very much the same.
Part way through, though, I was struck by the saddest of thoughts. Purportedly about the murder of the youth pastor’s wife, the book was as much the story of a church split resulting from ingroup/outgroup politics, the details of which were painstakingly recorded from several points of view. And all of a sudden I realised that I had heard this story, lived this story, dozens of times.
The first church split I lived through was when I was around eight years old. Even then it was emotionally draining, as my Christian School friends were also church friends and the children of parents on the opposite side of the split. (My parents are very much of the “stay and work out the problems in your church family just like your marriage” philosophy.) I didn’t know the background as my parents didn’t think an eight year old needed to be told gossip about the pastor’s wife and the song leader. Then there were other mini-splits as pastoral search committees brought in new preachers that old members couldn’t agree on. And of course we had the obligatory “youth pastor has an affair with youth lay leader” shake-up. That one shook my aunt, uncle and cousins loose. And this isn’t even going into all the splits I heard about from friends at school who went to other churches around town. I think by the time I went to college I’d heard this story–the one Olsen’s book blurb says is “shocking”–at least two dozen times. I actually think modern congregations spend more time falling apart than being together.
And of course I’m married to a Preacher’s Kid (PK for short) and that means that I get to see first hand the scarring that church splits have on a young boy whose father is cast as the villain in petty dramas. If there’s no sex scandal there’s sure to be a fight over hymnals or carpeting or communion methods.
I can’t imagine we’re the only two people, my husband and I, who grew up in this environment and are now leery of church politics in the extreme. We love going to church. We are scared, though, to be too much a part of any church. I suspect all this mess is why.
Just Another Pretty Farce 
As a PK myself, this very nearly brought tears to my eyes. There would be no way to go into all the reasons why, as I think some of them are even (mercifully) hidden to me still. It’s a life I’d have traded for no other, but it did leave its mark.
OH No! I didn’t mean to upset you, dear! My husband had a similar reaction. Church splits leave scars on everybody, but the poor PKs take more of a hit than others, I think.
Church I grew up in ended up having a major split after we lost our pastor (who shortly their after divorced his wife, so I don’t know exactly what the story is but I suspect it goes beyond him just feeling the need to move on). But we got a new interim minister who was a phenomenal speaker. But then, those who had to work most closely with him ( the youth pastor, the music minister, etc.) suddenly began to resign from their positions. Then talk began to circulate that maybe we ought to make him the permanent new pastor instead of just the interim, and people began to be played against each other. Finally the church voted a new permanent pastor in, and about half the church left with the interim guy. They started a new church where checks left in the offering plate were made out directly to the pastor (!!!).
Not really sure if that church survived because slowly but surely most of the members who had left our church came trickling back. But the turmoil that resulted in the initial split was the most I’d ever seen in a church, and looking back I think this is one situation where it really could be traced back to one smooth-talking con man.
I was all jaw-on-floor about the checks in the offering made to the pastor. Sounds like not a few people fell for the snakeoil treatment there.
It’s either funny or sad or a bit of both that so many people have church-split horror stories.
Funnier still that the people at St. Martin’s Press thought the book would be “shocking”. Maybe it’s shocking to those of you who didn’t grow up in a church. To the rest of us it’s more “tiresomely commonplace and sad.”
I’ve experienced major church splits three times, and some minor splits numerous times–for various reasons. Pastoral adultery, power plays from the ruling elite, not so successful church mergers. These sorts of problems make me appreciate denominations that have control from a bishopric that disciplines churches or removes people from office. A bishopric isn’t perfect, but at least there’s some accountability to a higher body than the local board members who “democratically” control everything.
Hm. That’s interesting, Jill.
Until a brief stint in a Nazarene church, I never attended any church with a hierarchical control from a central body. I’m Anabaptist to the core (hence the short stay in the Nazarene church) and have never even thought about the positive differences of a denomination with a central governing body.
I can definitely see your point, however. Because having the congregation also be the ones responsible for the hiring and firing of the pastor means that the pastor’s ability to give spiritual direction is hampered by his desire to stay employed.
I’ve seen many pastors done out of a job because of backbiting parishoners who took a petty dislike to the pastor’s handling of an administrative issue.
And you’d think more ministers would be familiar with the whole ‘gates of hell not prevailing’ idea…
Hah!
In the Anabaptist world, that’s a verse they shy away from, it reminding too many of them of Roman Catholiicism. (Yes, I know.)
Unfortunately, this doesn’t just take place in churches, it’s human nature. It’s groups with hierarchies of any kind (and all groups have hierarchies) and a group, for me, is three people or more. The only thing that works is what I would call the straightjacket effect = strict institutional rules that force everybody to behave, or leave (think democratic checks and balances). People just don’t get along, in other words. The only way they can come close to getting long is by being to.
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