Over on Facebook an old high-school friend chastened me for being down on Valentine’s day, because she says that we should be using it to focus on how Love is the greatest aspect and gift of the I AM.
That would actually be part of why I so very much DON’T like Valentine’s day. Because it takes that sacred aspect and humans it up so terribly. Pink and lavender hearts like faded bloodstains and bruises, fat baby angel archers shooting people wantonly and popular cartoon characters are what we have decided to use as symbols of LOVE. We talk about candy and jewelry and restaurant dinners as the way to celebrate love.
None of it feels like actual LOVE, per se. It all feels like shopping and irony. It feels like a holiday made for the Twilight crowd–those who love sparkly men at arms’ length and dream of being fought over like an object.
I’ve been with the love of my life now for longer than I lived without him. It often feels like I’ve never lived without him; in recounting a childhood memory I now have to stop and think whether or not he was there and am surprised when I realise he wasn’t. I don’t hate Valentine’s day because I can’t get a man. I hate it because I have had the best man for so long and I know how painful and wrongly aimed the holiday is. There were years we had no money and I felt as if I didn’t properly love him if I weren’t buying him a watch and that he didn’t proprerly love me if there was no diamond tennis bracelet. Nevermind that he was working the night shift in a mental hospital, strapping down child rapists and baby killers for minimum wage–just to pay our bills. Never mind that I gave up my family and home and all that was familiar to follow him to a strange city.
There’s no way that one day or one card or one candy can really express true love. You can’t say, for one moment in time, that this is about you giving everything you have and are for the person you love. There’s no way these plastic things can say “I lay down my life for you”. That is what the I AM did for us, and that is what we do for those we truly love.