I did some musing in the shower this morning. One thing led to another and now I feel as though I can share some things with the world.
Things that used to be hip but aren’t anymore:
- Referencing Spinal Tap. Seriously, if one more person says “these go to 11” or “you can’t dust for vomit”…tell them it’s just over.
- Spiritual journeys inspired by slickly marketed books. “The Secret” and “Prayer of Jabez”, I’m looking at you.
- Talking about how macho Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris are. Folks, this was funny for exactly three and a half minutes. Then it got tired. And stupid. No offence to people I know who used to write for Walker: Texas Ranger.
- The Shopaholic books. Anyone who glorifies unpaid bills and conspicuous consumption in this economy needs to be flayed with sharp-edged credit cards filed to a point.
- Smoothies.
- Sitting in a bookstore and reading books, magazines and newspapers without even having the vaguest of intentions to pay for them. Yes, I know the store puts the comfy chairs there. That doesn’t mean that you aren’t stealing.
- Ragging on people who play Facebook games. Look, we all amuse ourselves in different ways. I don’t pick on you for spending hours at the mall looking for cheap clothes. I don’t say anything about the vast amounts of Reality TV you watch. You have fun your way, I’ll have fun mine.
- System Of A Down
- Family Guy
- Flipping houses
- Designer dog breeds
- Barack Obama. Sorry–you know it’s true. Bunches of people who voted for him are now just kind of gritting their teeth and bearing it. No more hipster graphic art posters, huh?
- Designer covers for Kindle and Nook. Yes, the eReaders are expensive. And Kate Spade is famous. But no one should pay 50% of the eReader cost for a Kate Spade cover. That’s just completely wrong. Especially since you can’t tell the difference between the $120 Kate Spade solid covers and the $35 ones from M-Edge.
- True Blood. Sorry folks. I sat through all of Season 3 this last week. I give the show 2 more seasons before everyone else realises it’s jumped the shark. Me, personally–I feel like it jumped the shark last season during the Meat Idol scenes. This whole season was just an attempt to retain hipster cred and “sexy soap” status. Shame it’s not working. Last night’s season finale was the most Meh thing I’ve seen in a long while.
Just Another Pretty Farce 
Aw, you just put that last one in so I wouldn’t be sorry I couldn’t be there to watch with you, didn’t you?
Heh. Kind of. No, really, it turned out very well that no one could make it. Because both the show and I were totally lame and kind of sucky. 🙂
You are never lame and sucky. The show, I don’t know, since I’ve still never seen an episode.
FAIL.
No, not this post. Saying FAIL. Just don’t.
I will disagree with the Spinal Tap thing though. Spinal Tap, Princess Bride, anything Monty Python or Coen Brothers is always quotable.
I would totally agree on the fail thing.
And yes, those things are quotable. You can quote them to be funny or ironic. But not to be hip.
I think True Blood jumped the shark with the whole Franklin storyline. I like that actor, but they invested way too much time and ick into him.
The Russell storyline went way over the top too.
I did not get the point of Franklin. At all. It just seemed like a waste of time. Sort of like all the Satanic stuff they’re doing with LaFayette.
I’ve never really been clear on the difference between a “designer dog breed” and a mutt. Other than perhaps a “Peek-a-doodle” costs 10x more than a shelter dog.
I never could keep up, even back when I had the youthful energy to attempt to be hip.
(My one attempt – parachute pants – was about 3 years too late, so I just ended up looking ridiculous.)
S,o I just do what I do. I still quote Spinal Tap, but only because the lines still make me laugh.
Flipping houses isn’t so much unhip, but simply impossible. 🙂
Don’t mess with my smoothies.
I agree, said the queen of everything hip. 😉 Well, except True Blood which I am still diggin’. Vampires are otherwise over with. Time to move on.
But what about frozen yogurt?!? Can we be done with this iteration of frozen yogurt, please? 😉
No. Because Sweet CeCe’s Original Tart with Mochi is my superfood.
Well, we can just keep that one, instead of one on every block or whatever. 😉
I think this is the appropriate time to send everyone to listen to Duane Jarvis singing “A Girl That’s Hip.”