A few posts down from this one you’ll see a fainthearted stab at the good ol’ abortion argument being waged in the comments.
You won’t see me adding any more comments to that post, the point of which seems to be lost on some of the commentors.
I don’t know precisely when I changed inside. It started when I quit railing against the things going wrong in my body and accepting my new, less Helen Gurley Brownish lifestyle. Then I started to mend fences and become friendly with people I had previously disagreed with. And then my dog died.
That seems to be a ridiculous reason for this pacifism of mine, but it truly makes sense. The dog who died (or “went to college” as we say here) was the purest, kindest hearted creature I ever knew. He was a rock of love during the hardest times of my life and kept our whole family sane during our darkest hours as a small clan. When he died I realised that if I wanted to feel that same kind of love in my life I had to start by bringing it myself to the table. And that starts with not picking random fights about unsolvable problems.
So this blog has become more tepid; I’ve become more tepid. Granted, I still strongly feel things. I get unreasonably angry at stupid happenings. But I find myself weighing the consequences of negative interaction against the treasure of my peace of mind.
More often than not I decide that it just isn’t worth it. No one, least of all me, is helped by my continual verbal battering, sparring for the high ground in a nonsensical war of words.
So I’ve kept the warring words out of here.
It does mean fewer blog posts, and more blog posts about things like what I’m reading or watching on TV. But it also means fewer nights of trying to fall asleep while framing arguments in my head.
I thought long and hard this morning about writing a post to clarify what seems to be unclear about my position on abortion and then I realised a few things. I’m not running for office. I’m not helping anybody by spelling out how I feel about matters. The only thing I’d be doing is giving more ammunition toward one party or another for a fight that never ends.
And my whole position on all things political, be it abortion or health care or war in Iraq, is that arguments on the internet don’t solve anything. Voices raised in anger anywhere don’t solve anything. And those fights are something that other people are called to do. I once thought I was called to politics, but then finally jumped ship and headed toward Ninevah. But part of me refused to let all of that go. Now, twenty years on, I think I might finally be learning to stop watching the ships headed away from Ninevah.
So I’m glad if you read me for whatever reason. But don’t come here expecting me to roil and fume with or against you. It’s not what I’m about today.