It is a capital mistake to theorize before you have all the evidence. It biases the judgment.
-Sherlock Holmes, A Study In Scarlet
Casey asked me what I thought of the upcoming Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr., and contrary to that sage advice passed to us by the Scottish physician via his most famous patient, I have a theory. But I’ll disguise it as opinion in order to get away with it.
I’m a Holmes nut. My url gives it away, I think. Well…at least it does to other Holmes nuts. The unindoctrinated have no idea what that “mycropht” thing is all about, and the fact that I’ve intentionally misspelled it does most googlers no favours at all.
Oops. Back to the movie.
When I first read that RDJr. was to play Holmes I was really torn. He looks nothing like Holmes, save for the fact they both have brown hair. But I had just seen Iron Man twice and his ability to become that character makes me think that perhaps it might not be so bad. Of course, having a short man play Holmes is, to me, like having an Asian man in the role. Holmes is tall–and I say that as a girl who had her first literary crush on that character when she was
11 14 and absorbed EVERY detail about the guy.
Holmes also has a drug problem. That worries me, because we all know that Robert Downey Jr. is a walking drug problem and I fear that any portrayal of Holmes he gives us will be riddled with the drug thing. It can’t be as bad as The Seven Percent Solution (that Holmes apocryphal novel by Star Trek writer Nicholas Meyer), but it will be as boring to watch as Dr. House’s vicodin addiction. Why are all the modern writers fascinated by that aspect of Doyle’s character?
Of course the big thing is that while googling something else I came across this story detailing that Guy Ritchie (the film’s director) is making Holmes gay for Watson. Sigh. I guess it’s about time. It’s happened already in countless fan fictions and since the modern sensibility doesn’t seem to allow for male friendships without some sort of sexual complication I guess this was bound to show up onscreen sooner or later. Besides, I’ll cut Ritchie a pass for his current disavowal of women given the state of his marriage. I just always feel sorry for all of Dr. Watson’s wives who would either be surprised at his batting-both-ways or using it as an excuse to break up.
The one good thing about this is that maybe it’ll make Sherlock Holmes popular again and it won’t just be the nerds who are off into it.
Did I say good thing? Hmmm. I oughta rethink that.
Meanwhile, I’ll be cautiously optimistic about this film and continue waiting for a Mycroft movie of substance. After all, he’s smarter than Sherlock and able to solve the mysteries from the comfort of his chair in the Diogenes Club. The same mysteries that have baby brother Sherlock running all the heck over England. Fat, sedentary, genius. How can you not love Mycroft Holmes?!?