I didn’t really give a thought to what the holidays would be like this year. I’m a Thanksgiving and Christmas nut. I love everything about the whole time of year. The decorations, the food, the long trips to see family–it’s all my milieu.
Of course I had no idea that the death of my dog child would haunt me this badly. Every celebratory thing I do from cooking to decoration–even simply listening to holiday songs–reminds me of the last time I did it. The last 7 times. Each of those times involved a big, black, stinky, wiggly, fuzzy guy. All the memories of him smiling and running toward me with glee are rippled through with the memories of him whining pitifully between sedatives as the cancer ate his bones.
There was nothing about me that deserved him in my life and there was nothing about him that deserved that painful a death.
On Black Friday I bought a little ornament at Target. It’s a silvery angel with a sparkly charm at the heart. It’s what I have to honour him this holiday. All in all, though, I’d rather have him back.
Just Another Pretty Farce 
It’s a hard season for the grieving. I hope writing about it eased you a little.
At least you had those seven years. That’s not just a sparkly charm; it’s a diamond.
He was a very pretty pup. That’s a great photo.
May the happy memories be strong, clear, vivid… and may they comfort you even if they bring some tears.
What a pretty picture. I’m sorry again for your loss.
We have two ornaments that are dog bones with their names painted on them. It’s been years since each of them died but it makes me remember the fun we had when we get them out. I still miss them both.
Yep.
You know I know and all I can say is I am really pleased you found a way to ease a little of the pain.
We lost our dogs/children close enough to the same time that I thought I could comfort you that it got easier.
I can’t do that.