I’m trying my level best (with the help of the Holy Spirit) to live at peace with all mankind. That means walking away from unnecessary fights and confrontations. This may explain why I’ve stopped commenting on other blogs–I don’t want to pick fights.
More than a year ago, however, one blogger said something extremely insulting and hurtful about a friend of mine, and they said it in the most public and hurtful way possible. It wasn’t even an insult to me. I didn’t realise that I hadn’t forgiven that until I saw that blogger commenting at Sharon’s. My apologies to Sharon directly for losing it on her site.
I’ll also apologise here for calling Wintermute’s comment misogynistic. It truly may not have been–I may be seeing it through the lens of my anger and prejudice.
Just Another Pretty Farce 
No problem.
If there’s one person who knows how hurt one can get by someone else’s words or actions on a blog, it’s me.
It’s hard when you read sh*t that is either offensive or disrespectful to you when you know you’re trying your level best to be a good person.
What Wintermute wrote about our mutual friend a year ago was terrible. What he wrote (initially) on my blog this week had nothing to do with it, but just seeing his name pushed that button in you.
(Sound familiar? # 9 #9)
At least you and I are trying to walk the walk of our respective religions and can say “I’m sorry” and try to do better, which is more than 90 percent of the Nashville blogosphere can do.
It’s totally understandable why he pushed your buttons.
I completely understand and all is forgiven and not a problem at all.
I left this comment on Sharon’s blog, now I’m leaving it on yours too:
Kat, shame on you! People most certainly can learn from their mistakes and try to do better. Life is hard sometimes, we lash out and hurt each other, often for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with the one being hurt.
Wintermute joined in on Feel Good Friday, commented on Sharon’s blog, trying to reach out… and what do you do? As I recall, Wintermute was put through the fire after he made that hateful remark – over a year ago. I think your hateful comment/accusation makes you equal to him. If we are to forgive you, then why not forgive Wintermute too? It doesn’t really matter who started it.
Sharon, I think accusing someone of being misogynistic is indeed an attack. How do we know that Wintermute hates women? We all say hateful things sometimes, a few written words here and there do not define who we are as human beings.
Signed – a fair-minded woman.
Kat,
Live your life with joy. Not the tongue-wagging, over-the-top stupid, Rachel Ray hyper kind of joy. The joy that comes from knowing who you are in Christ, that He is the author and perfector of your faith (and your life).
It is a weapon of Satan himself to force us into a corner in shame and fear… to think any less of ourselves than our God, the Creator – Elohim, thinks and sees His children. Or to believe that we can be as gods – far more than our created nature can achieve.
And besides, living with joy makes people who don’t like you absolutely mad. 🙂
Love ya sweetness!
“And besides, living with joy makes people who don’t like you absolutely mad”
Jonnelle–
Would you email me that on a weekly basis? I need to be reminded of that more often. 🙂
Thanks!
S
A fair-minded woman,
I was the butt of Wintermute’s attack a year ago. You can go read on my old blog where I let it go. In fact, I will put a link to it on my new blog so all you have to do is follow it from the link in my name on this comment.
His comment to me was hateful. It was hurtful. And his own blog was full of misogynistic posts. You can go through the comments at NiT (assuming they are still there) and see where people linked to those posts (if they still exist).
And, he never apologized. There was no act of contrition. Laying low and hoping people forget is not the same.
I don’t want or need his apology to move on with my life and live with grace and love.
Kat made her apology. Whether or not is accepted by anyone else is unnecessary. She has does what we as believers in Christ are called to do – admit when we are wrong.
Jonelle has an error in the URL in her profile. Her blog is actually
Habhak, not Habkak.
(Habhak is from the Hebrew–she explains it over there.)
Oops! I’ll fix that!!!
Jonelle–
I went to your new site (love it) but couldn’t find why you named it “Habhak.” Since you have “embrace” on your site, may I assume you named it “Habhak” after one of the lesser known prophets, Habakkuk? (Kat wrote it was from “the Hebrew,” so that’s all I could think of)
He’s one of my favorite minor prophets because his ultimate message was to trust in G-d.
I don’t usually hear Christians mention him…in fact, I don’t think I ever have, so I’m curious to know if I’m right about you picking the name of your new blog from Habakkuk, and if so, where did you learn about Habakkuk? Most Jews I know don’t even know about Habakkuk.
Sharon, that’s right.
Some time ago, I spent months in Habakkuk. God would not let me leave that book to study other things. Slowly, surely, I settled into that book… it’s message of honesty, frustration, trust, and love of and for God.
There is an introductory post at the very beginning of the blog that explains the purpose of the new blog and why I chose Habhak for the name.
Dr. James MacDonald just finished a series on Walk in the Word (available as a podcast in iTunes) on Habakkuk. So, now that’s 2 Christians that have talked about that small book. 🙂
Extraordinary.
The story of Habakkuk has sustained me more than any other book except Job.
I’m prejudice, but GOOD CHOICE!! :):):):)
I guess maybe I should go back and read it for myself. It’s been awhile. Like maybe four or five years.
(I usually get stuck in 1Peter)
Great post and I say AMEN to you writing about this!!
Hey Katherine, I hear we’re neighbors…
Looking past folk’s attitudes and behaviors to the core reality of who they are (i.e. expressions of all or god) helps me not get distracted from knowing I’m am the same.
Relying on my/the ability to forgive folk’s attitudes and behaviors never worked for me.
Now, when behaviors and attitudes distract me, I use the feeling of being distracted to remind me of the above.