Slarti has a project going, wherein he rates the general grumpiness of blogs. Leaving aside that any such rating systems are subjective–what constitutes “grumpy” or “negative”–it makes me think back on my own long career with cantankerous writing.
Blogging serves several purposes for me, and over the years the various roles it has played in my life have waxed and waned as needed. Blogging will always be part writing exercise, part social networking, part catharsis and part working through my own personal philosophies. I’ll admit that I was surprised when one person called me a curmudgeon and hurt when another said I had a chip on my shoulder. I suppose, though, that if all one knows of me is what I write–and you happen to come across me on a Catharsis period you’re likely to think me surly/grumpy/curmudgeonly or even, God forbid, bitchy.
In talking with my mother about an unrelated subject a couple of weeks ago I realised that one of my deeply-held religious beliefs makes me appear coldhearted, and I’m at a loss as to how to remedy it. I believe that any charity or good works we do as Christians are not to be talked about. That’s one of my strongest beliefs when it comes to my religion. Yes we should do good things–but those things are between us and God. I’ve read many blogs by religious people where they talk about how many hours they put in at the soup kitchen, how much they tithe and how many children they sponsor through Compassion, International. I’ve been wrestling with the dichotomy between “by your fruits you shall know them” and “let not the right hand know what the left hand is doing”. I’ve decided, though, to stick with the way things have always been.
So, depending on the week this blog may be the grumpiest in Nashville. Or the most pointless. At the very least it remains a good writing exercise.
Just Another Pretty Farce 
Kat, your 3rd paragraph has been on my mind a lot lately. I struggle with “how much do I talk about the ministries I’m involved in?”, and many times I have erred. I finally decided that I will only post about these things to say how much *I* was blessed by this or that thing I took part in. (You will NEVER see a post from me about our tithe. That would just be rude).
But I’m asking you now to let me know if I ever cross a line in the bragging about compassion part. Sometimes, I want so badly to be included in the Compassion Clique, I say and do things that take the focus off of Christ. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember that they (people who seek worldly or governmental solutions to suffering) aren’t SUPPOSED to like me.
As for the other thing, I DID say you had an exemption 🙂
And grumpy isn’t quite the emotion I was going for. It’s more despair. It struck me that Kevin (I know there’s friction between you two) highlights problems but always turns the conversation to a solution. He even has a particular one in mind. This, in my opinion, makes his message more effective and disarms those who are taken aback by his eschewing of traditional responsibilities.
But I won’t talk about Kevin anymore, because I know that makes you nuts.
As an aside, I know I kept my distance the last few weeks, and I hope you don’t hold it against me. Sometimes, I really don’t know what to say. Just remember that I wish you peace.
It’s more despair. It struck me that Kevin (I know there’s friction between you two) highlights problems but always turns the conversation to a solution.
Yes, and that statement right there highlights the very subjective nature of your enterprise. As you admit, Kevin makes me nuts. From my view the solutions he suggests are often useless because they’re often comprised of “people should just give me more stuff.”
What you see as a solution I see as an ongoing sense of entitlement. So your index weights his posts–for example–much more lightly than would I.
I know I kept my distance the last few weeks, and I hope you don’t hold it against me.
I’ve been in that place of no place and have been realising it’s land best covered alone. I begrudge no one for abstaining my journey.
Sometimes, I want so badly to be included in the Compassion Clique
If only you were an INTJ none of it would matter. ;-p But yes, I too suffer from that. Especially as I’ve turned to reading more overtly Christian blogs. Something about solidly Christian blogs troubles me. I couldn’t put my finger on it for the longest time, but I think “Compassion Clique” sums it up nicely. There is this generation of faithful just a few years younger than I–mid to late 20s mostly–who feel that they are so very in touch with their faith. So much so, in fact, that anyone who is not at the same church listening to the same band and reading the same book is not a person of faith. It turns a lifetime of struggling to be more like Christ into a clique. You summed it up nicely.