I watched 2/3rds of the Oscars Sunday night. I’d only seen one of the Best Picture nominees, and I knew Tilda Swinton would be on there so I had thought I wouldn’t watch.
But as luck would have it, I missed the idea of watching The Oscars®. In that way, viewing the Acadamy Awards is not unlike eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken. It occasionally sounds good, and if you haven’t done it in awhile you start to get an itch for it. Only after it sits all greasily in your gut do you remember that the actual act doesn’t measure up to the anticipation.
So I tuned in, and r
eally enjoyed thought fondly of a lot of what I saw. Some was Original Recipe, some was potatoes, some was gravy. I fast-forwarded the cole slaw.
- TiVo is a must. With it you can fast-forward the icky bits and rewind the good bits. Overall that means fewer visits to the Easter Candy Stockpile.
- Easter Candy is also a must. Who can watch the Oscars without Cadbury Eggs and Jelly Beans?
- I liked the opening montage. In a bizarre way it reminded me of the Great Movie Ride at Disney Studios.
- Man, Harrison Ford looks like someone sucked the life energy out of him and replaced it with sand. Like that villain in Hellboy. Tommy Lee Jones just looked peeved to be there. I think all of Hollywood loves Jack Nicholson because he’s a good sport about being Jack Nicholson.
- What a treat for me to see Dennis Hopper! I love Dennis Hopper for no good reason other than Hoosiers and Blue Velvet. It still weirds me out that he’s in all those “save for retirement” ads. I think of Saving For Retirement as a very grown up thing to do. I do not think of Dennis Hopper as a very grown up person.
- John Stewart was funny. Except he stole the joke right out of my brain. I’ve been referring to this presidential race as the Star Trek President race. Star Trek always has black men or women presidents. And then JS has to go and say pretty much the same thing. Only funnier. I guess that’s why he’s paid and I’m writing this in a long t-shirt, underwear, fuzzy pink slippers and for no money.
- I enjoyed seeing some of the “lesser” nominees this year more than I have other years. Those people work their butts off in a way that neither writers nor actors truly appreciate unless they’ve been a secretary. Take Set Design/Art Direction for one. These folks have to find all the stuff to make a soundstage look like Elisabethan England or WWI England. I remember what fresh hell it was to order sandwiches for a lunch meeting. I can only imagine finding a period-appropriate wallpaper for one three minute scene.
- What sadist thought it was a good idea to have that poor girl from “Enchanted” just stand there and sing all by herself without even a cardboard cutout of a rat to keep her company? “Happy Working Song” is one of the ironic yet sweet highlights of the movie, and they turned it into a horror show. Put the girl in nothing but her underwear, add a cruel typing teacher and it’s EVERYONE’S worst nightmare
- Daniel Day Lewis. He really loves himself, doesn’t he? But then again, can you blame him? Unfortunately I missed his actual award and acceptance speech as those were all in the 1/3rd of the program I didn’t watch.
So there are my main thoughts. If any of you have made it this far and actually saw the whole thing, can you please tell me what was so awful about the scripted Harrison Ford interview that Alan Sepinwall has been loudly decrying?