About three or four weeks ago, the losers pop culture mavens I read at places like TWOP and EW and Slashdot etc. started talking about that whole “I drink your milkshake!!” scene in There Will Be Blood. The result of this non-stop jokery was my craving for milkshakes.
I’m not normally a milkshake-drinker because they’re kind of a fussy concoction to be honest. You can’t just pop off the top and slosh it into a glass (despite what the Slim-Fast and Ensure ads would have you believe). A milkshake either requires much effort at home or the effort of leaving home and braving the Fast Food Nation.
Anyway, thanks in large part to pop culture, my husband and I ended up driving through Steak & Shake on Valentine’s Day. Then on Sunday we did the same thing. I defy Daniel Day Lewis with my over-the-top frozen dairy beverage consumption!!!
In an effort to keep my wordcount down I’ll summarise the events post-milkshake with three easy to remember words:
Pain
From
Hell
Seriously, it was bad. Bad enough to send me to the internet, whereby a thirty-second search reveals that It Is A Big Screaming Duh for RA Patients To Avoid Dairy. Apparently there are several folks who have even been cured of their RA by avoiding dairy. And you can buy their books, too! With all the money you save on cheese! Mind you, none of these folks are “dockturs”or even “scientists”, but hey. If they say it, it must be so.
Here’s the thing, though. Many of these places claim that the best healing for these ailments comes through good nutrition, but they keep raising the bar. First it’s a tiny thing, like not drinking milk. Then when you get down to the nitty-gritty it’s all about doing things like eating only uncooked vegan food.
Allow me to be honest.
I don’t want to be in pain forever and I don’t want to have my hands turn into gnarled stumps. But honestly, I can’t picture a LIFETIME of eating only uncooked vegan food. I just don’t have it in me. I am weak-willed. I hate beans. And, oh yeah, I’m allergic to soy.
For now I’m drastically reducing my cheese intake *sobs* and I guess Daniel Day Lewis can have my share of all your milkshakes.
Just Another Pretty Farce 
No, don’t torture yourself. My own (not exactly RA, but maybe close enough) experience is that milkshakes are out but most cheeses are fine. Especially aged cheeses. So cut out the milk and the ice cream and the frozen custard (not that there’s any frozen custard worth the eating here anyway) and don’t buy the books and with the money you save you can splurge on fine fromage.
TheBoyfriend™ wants badly to go to a raw vegan diet. I’m not yet convinced we have the time (or money) to do it.
Knocking out dairy is going to be huge for you, so why not take the time to settle in there? Then if you want to take some other step, you can go from there. I started awhile back saying I was going to cut back on how much red meat I ate. I did and within just a couple of months, I (much to my surprise) realized I was no longer eating any read meat and not missing it at all. At that point completely removing red meat from my diet was as simple as simply saying that I was doing so without having to change my diet at all. Did the same for other non-red meats, until I’m at where I am now and eat only chicken (at least so far as meat goes). Now I’m cutting back on chicken.
That’s funny.
As I’ve been discussing this with my LifePartner, he and I both kind of reached the same conclusion. I eat cheese frequently (aaaah, cheeeeese) but don’t notice any Hideous Flare-age®. It’s only if I–just as you said–eat ice cream or drink milkshakes.
Of course there are probably those out there who believe that if cutting out milkshakes tamps down Hideous Flare-age then cheese should be eliminated ipso facto.
I think I just used “ipso facto” incorrectly in that sentence. But as I look at it in the context of the larger conversation I think “Ipso Facto” would make a great name for a dessert. Sort of like “Choco Taco”.
Eh, I had no trouble saying goodbye to milk and milkshakes when I read about the amount of allowable pus in our country’s milk supply. There are few words in our vast language I hate more than “pus” and I can’t look at a glass of milk without thinking about it. Blech.
I somehow manage to justify eating cheese, though.
Thanks for the link above. I haven’t seen the link above and I wasn’t really sure what the milkshake thing was about. Nevertheless, that theme song they came up with for the skit was hilarious. I’ve been singing it for days.
Lesley,
The only way I EVER drink milk is in a milkshake, because drinking milk to me is like swallowing snot. I think it’s interesting that you have the same reaction to it.
(Of course the thing about me and milkshakes is that I can overcome most aversions by adding sugar and chocolate.)
Oh, and you’re welcome for the link. I figured there were enough people in the dark that a link was due. Especially since the whole IDYMS thing is shaping up to be one of those obnoxious trendoid things (like a “Waaaaats uppp!” for the A/V club) and the sooner it gets demystified the sooner it stops being cool.
Dolphin,
I figured that’s probably the type of thing I’d do. There’s some deal out there in the world called the elimination diet that involves cutting out most food for two weeks, adding foods back in gradually and then seeing what almost kills you.
It doesn’t sound like much fun to me, so I’m doing things the way you suggested.
Oh my, Lesley…I have never heard that before. I’m gonna have to rethink my addiction to ice cream now.
if cutting out milkshakes tamps down Hideous Flare-age then cheese should be eliminated ipso facto.
Extremism in the pursuit of health is no virtue.
Oh, and you mean “a fortiori.”
I’m gonna have to rethink my addiction to ice cream now.
Don’t bother for that reason. Unless you’re growing your own food in your garden, you food contains all kinds of nasties that you’d probably rather not think about. The FDA has all sorts of ratings and regulations about those things, for instance ground cinnamon is legal to be sold so long as it has an average of fewer than 400 insect fragments per 50 grams.
[…] is, she found out–a little too late–that she probably shouldn’t be drinking milkshakes. Unlike me, she actually likes them, though (don’t read the comments at her place if you have […]
Dolphin says the sooth. I’m just particularly bothered by “pus.” I mean, insect bits and rat droppings are gross, but pus from an infected udder? ::shudder::
Rice Dream?