Since I’m fat, I’m donating half an eye’s worth of time toward the conversations about the new show on
The Misogyny Network Lifetime about How To Look Good Naked. I haven’t seen the show and haven’t decided whether or not I even want to. It honestly depends on just how bad the writers’ strike gets and how lacking I am for blog material. As far as I’m concerned I look pretty good naked, all things considered, but since there are really only a handful of people for whom my nakedness is even an issue I don’t think it warrants a whole lot of discussion.
What does give me pause though, is a bit of conversation in the comments on this post at Harriet Brown’s place.
I’d say that one major reason is that gay men have no investment in holding women’s bodies to unrealistic standards of beauty, …. My gay friends were never interested in my body, just my sense of humor.
To be fair, I don’t know those folks behind the comments, so I don’t know the full extent of their relationships with Gay Men®. I’ve had a lot of relationships with a lot of men who happen to be gay, though, and there is one thing I can tell you.
Not all gay men are the same.
I’m bothered by a lot of women’s attitude toward male homosexuals, especially the en vogue idea of having your own pet Gay Man® to make you feel like you’ve got a dog who talks back. He’s Loyal! He Loves You For You! He Doesn’t Want Sex! He Likes To Shop For Clothes! He’s Catty & Funny! It bothers me because it is really nothing more than a stereotype come to life. Having a gay male friend to be funny with you and boost your self-esteem is sort of like having a Jewish friend to balance your checkbook or a black friend to play basketball with.
It discounts the actual people in the equation and replaces the person with an expected function. What kind of friendship is that, anyway?
Like I said, I’ve known a lot of gay men in this lifetime. Some have not cared about my weight at all. One of them (the infamous Ward who gave me my chili recipe) was the meanest person about my weight I’ve ever known. A lot of the gay men I’ve known have been fine about people’s weight to their face but catty behind their backs. Still others have had other attitudes toward women. It’s all as individual as the people themselves.