Someone on Twitter (not me) is writing of their erotic dream from last night. It involves Jim Halpert (of The Office) and drugs.
I don’t have that many erotic dreams anymore, and when I do they always feature my husband. (awwww!)
What I do have are the dreams where some random person has fallen completely in love with me. There’s never any sex, but there’s a lot of flirting and pursuing and note-passing. It’s like some Victorian virgin is scripting my subconscious. And you know, it wouldn’t be so bad if that’s all there was to it. Those dreams remind me of the early dating days when I would get all excited over held hands or a mixed tape.
The thing is, it’s always the most random person about whom I never give another thought otherwise. One time it was that obnoxious Dan guy who did commercials for Rivergate Toyota. A few nights ago it was this guy. Yes, that’s correct. The dude from Food Network’s “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” is sending me mash notes in my sleep.
I think this now means I’m an old woman. While you other people are out doing the horizontal bop with hotties from Prime Time, my dream self is coquetting with cable-channel doofi. I have a feeling that my next dream flirtation is going to be with one of the men who announces jewelry on QVC.
Just Another Pretty Farce 
I still remember one of those dreams I had when I was like 15 and it involved a girl in class. A nice girl, one I had known since elementary school but she wasn’t really a friend, or a crush, or anything. She was just a girl I often had in class through the years.
Then I had that dream, and it was one of those really… really… dirty 15-year old guy erotic dreams, and I show up in class and this girl is just sitting there, and I felt soooo bad. Like I’d just violated her. And I still dont know why it was her of all people.
Oooooh, that Jim.
I can’t even come up with any smarty pants thing to say. The whole thing just came flooding back. Yum.
My dreams are always just foreplay…. I never get to “go all the way”…. Don’t know if that is bad or good….
1. This was a magical exhibition of alliteration.
2. I have dreams like that every so often, and I always manage to feel the same awkwardness around the person the next day as if what happened in my dream actually happened.
3. The Warren Zevon/brucellosis tag you have there always goes through my head all day whenever I read it.
I had really erotic dreams the first time I was pregnant. So much so, I woke up embarrassed.
Now, I dream boring stuff…like last night I dreamed I worked with my best friend from high school.