i am counting on you. please do not let me down.
i cannot read today. i cannot sit at my desk for more than five minutes because i think my eyeballs may pop out of my head and squish against my monitor like rotten grapes.
i cannot speak because my voice is gone, so i can’t call my mother and chat with her about the crazy people on food network.
so you, netflix, are my last hope. you promised that i’d have three discs of murder one ‘on or about today’. please make it ‘on today’ so i have something to do.