In the movie version of Tolkein’s Fellowship of the Ring, the weary and bedraggled band of Man, Elf, Dwarf and Hobbit face relentless horrors and death. They trudge through barren wastes, frozen peaks and cavernous mountain passages flaming with hellfire.
Then they get a little bit of a break. In Lothlorien, home of Galadriel, they find water, shelter, rest and a chance to mourn.
Yesterday was a Lothlorien moment for me. I’ve struggled for weeks under various assailments from health, work and threats of lawsuit. By Thursday of this last week I had definitely ‘fallen into shadow’. I told Husband that I needed to find my strength again, my energy to be myself. When Aunt B. first proposed this gathering a month ago I thought it sounded like a nice idea and a fun way to pass a few hours without TiVo. I didn’t realise that by the time the actual day arrived most of us would be in dire need of a soul-recharging.
I don’t think I can fully describe how healing it is to have a group of women gathered around bounty, beside a flowing stream. And yes, I’m being pretentiously wordy, but I don’t honestly have any other words to describe it. Awesome? Overused. Cool? Too ‘High School Musical’. Rad? Please get over yourself. Bitchin’? Heh. Probably, but not in the ways you think.
There is a large wooden table with some story behind it. Every woman brought a bit of food or a bit of drink, symbols of contributions from her soul, designed to nourish the group. There was wine to symbolise spirit, life, death and rebirth. The stream gurgled by with a bubbling peace song.
Like all good midwestern women, I seemed to have retained that spark of Mother which finds us in the kitchen arranging food dishes, fretting over their presentation. I’ve discovered over the years that I’m generally at my happiest when I’m in a kitchen organising an assault of food for a mass of people. That’s the arena where I learned womanhood from my grandmother, mother and aunts in the farmhouse at Kewanna.
Like all women with an edge of snarl, I found true happiness in a deck of cards. I’ve been known to play Euchre for many hours running, in marathon sessions of Anabaptist cunning and hard-knock passes. By the time we broke out the cards I had relaxed enough to barely mind the fact that there were no seats without a back to the door. Praise God that a Euchre deck is cleaned of all eights. Nevermind that my partner and I lost by two points. That’s a respectful showing in any Euchre session, and due punishment for my arrogant call of trump on a whim.
I’ve been in many gatherings where everyone has a lot in common. Those are always nicely bonded with some degree of fellow-feeling. We’re all Christians or conservatives or geeks, nerds, foodies, Disneyphiles. What was so special about last night was the same thing that made Lothlorien special. We all have relatively little in common at the surface. We are Men and Elves and Dwarves and Hobbits. Liberals, Libertarians. Faith and Atheist. Mothers and the Childfree by Choice. But we’re friends because we’ve shared bits of hard journey together and we draw strength from our common hearts.
I owe a debt of gratitude to B for planning it, Mack for hosting it, Lynnster for getting me there in one piece, saraclark for getting me home in once piece and everyone else for putting up with me and the six-foot men. Bless all of you for who you are and how you be.
I heard I was less than magnanimous in victory…blame the tequila, or the fact that I have never won an argument with you.
I was happy to see everyone, but your presence there was special to me, since I had heard you were suffering all week.
Thanks for making the trek to Coyote Creek.
I heard I was less than magnanimous in victory…blame the tequila,
Weren’t you there for your little touchdown dance?
or the fact that I have never won an argument with you.
Life is long. I figure you’ve got a few years to try.
Maybe we can discuss it on that 93 mile walk to your swimmin’ hole.
KC, can I just say what a treat it was to meet you in person? You know how, when you meet someone you have every reason to expect will be cool, and that person is indeed cool, you kind of smile? Well, it was like that except that you were even more fun than that.
[…] worried about you and Coble being in the same building, […]
It was wonderful to finally be able to feel like we had some opportunity to talk and get to know each other a little better. I really enjoyed it.
Sounds beautiful. It is amazing the fellowship of women. I am irritated by reference to women as constantly competitive and mostly catty to each other. I know that they exist–these catty women, but I have always found comfort in my “sisters”, my friends.
Kat, you are such a beautiful woman, and I my life is richer for knowing you. So glad you were there. 🙂
[…] is indescribable. All I can say is that I do believe if Mack had gotten his Karaoke machine out, Kat would have indeed gotten up on the table and sang “I Am Woman” with me, newscoma, and […]
Kat,
Every time I see you, I learn a little something new that completely surprises me. Glad you were able to make it, sorry we didn’t get to talk more.
LOL to the swimhole hike comment!!!
I’ve been in many gatherings where everyone has a lot in common. Those are always nicely bonded with some degree of fellow-feeling. We’re all Christians or conservatives or geeks, nerds, foodies, Disneyphiles. What was so special about last night was the same thing that made Lothlorien special. We all have relatively little in common at the surface. We are Men and Elves and Dwarves and Hobbits. Liberals, Libertarians. Faith and Atheist. Mothers and the Childfree by Choice. But we’re friends because we’ve shared bits of hard journey together and we draw strength from our common hearts.
That’s what I was trying to tell David Saturday night when I got home. I was so encouraged and uplifted by this gathering of women (& one man) who on the surface are so different. But what really, really, really, impressed me was that none of us needed to express our differences that evening. We didn’t need to argue politics or religion or anything like that. We were simply content to be in each other’s company, to enjoy, to talk, to laugh, to eat and to live.
[…] (though you can know for sure that what happened at Mack’s stays at Mack’s!). Kat’s thoughts, as usual (you know I leach off of her brain, right?) expresses more eloquently that I […]
What a perfect description. I can’t add anything more.
Except, that I do remember the war whoops and general celebration about Mack’s win in cards. I didn’t see a dance, but I do not doubt that it happened from the sounds of it.
I am recharged, re-newed and better able to face the week because of the group. This was something I really needed as well.
nm,
I’m so flattered that you think I’m cool AFTER spending time with me. ;-p
I was just so happy to finally meet you. I think you’re quite cool as well.
It was a wonderful weekend, I am thankful to have been able to experience it, and one of my VERY favorite parts of it was the trip out there with you and Ivy (and the shopping adventure). I was having a great time and would have if it’d just been the three of us! It was just a bigger bonus the circle and fun grew before the day was over.
You have a standing invitation for carpooling, lunches/dinners, and anything else that ever comes up! I just wish I lived closer so I could hang out with you all more often and more regularly, but maybe someday.
[…] Katherine Coble: I don’t think I can fully describe how healing it is to have a group of women gathered around bounty, beside a flowing stream. And yes, I’m being pretentiously wordy, but I don’t honestly have any other words to describe it. Awesome? Overused. Cool? Too ‘High School Musical’. Rad? Please get over yourself. Bitchin’? Heh. Probably, but not in the ways you think. […]