My friend and official blogfather, Patrick has been picked up by NiT for announcing to the world that he is tired of hearing “at the end of the day.” (I personally have steered him away from all performances of Les Miserables, as I can only assume this would cause his head to explode.) Sista Smiff (who is going to be blogrolled as soon as I dare face the template again…) is guest-blogging at NiT and has asked for other examples of phrases and words of which people are tired. As much as I thoroughly enjoy polluting the comments threads at NiT, I have WAY too much to get off my chest. So, “whole post time” it is. Be warned. It’s late and my allergies are bad. So there. (No, I’m not drunk. I’m Baptist.)
a myriad of
Folks. Let me tell you something. Nothing drives me nutsier than this. Not even overu’sed apo’strophe’s. I know that it is technically okay to use “myriad” as a noun but I’m one of those fusty creatures who thinks it should be restricted to adjectival use. Especially since, like “Legion”, the noun form indicating a collective number is archaic. If Tim W. weren’t sick, I’d leave this type of thing to him. He does it better than me. Regardless, ‘myriad’ as a noun bothers me. Or should I say ‘irregardless’? Ha!
I am so tired of this. It sounded clever when I first moved here 15 years ago. Now it is just about as tiresome as that orange-banana knock-knock joke. Or that “pete and repeat sittin’ on a fence’ thing. Either way, it’s the same principle. It’s what people say when they think they’re being really clever and they just don’t get how bald the joke has gone. Every six year old thinks that “orange you glad I didn’t say banana?” is the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. In the same way, people who’ve just arrived and been blown away by the Christian Tattoo Parlour and other gimcrackery think that ‘Nashvegas’ is funny in an ironic way. Not so much, no.
Be Christ To The World
This is the latest popular church-accessory language. When I was a kid everyone had “I Found IT!” bumper stickers. A few years ago it was ‘WWJD’. Now we have “be Christ to (or in) the world.” I like the sentiment behind it–to a degree. I agree that as Christians we are to be living a life that shows the power of Christ’s redemption, compassion and grace. I know that “bCt(oi)tw” is shorthand for saying all of that. But it strikes me as a really nasty shorthand, full of hubris. Frankly, Christ was ‘Christ to the World’. As humans only, without His Diety, we cannot “be Christ.” Besides which, I’ve heard a few pastors say this in such a way as to make “Christ” sound like the latest Coca-Cola flavour. I can’t escape this fear that we’ve dumbed Christ down over the last 30 years to make Him more palatable for human consumption. The fact that our latest bumper sticker makes Him sound so easily-replaced by any one of us bugs the ever-loving daylights out of me.
Gay Slang & Black Slang Used By Straight People or White People
Do you realise how stupid it sounds for a 35-year old white woman to say “Oh, Snap!” or “Oh no you di-int!”? Trust me, Beeyotch. It’s played.
Git ‘R’ Done
I swear to you. I am very close to forgetting my vow of “being Christ to the world” and killing the next person who says this in my presence. There are a couple of reasons. First, I think that Larry The Cable Guy is the most disgusting person I’ve ever heard doing stand-up (and I’ve heard A LOT of stand-up.) I don’t like it when a person’s stand-up routine is reduced to a catchphrase that the audience waits for and then screams manaically upon hearing. (See Also: “Here’s Your Sign.”) Since it’s not funny when the lazy comedian does it, it’s doubly-not-funny when some punk guy wears it on a t-shirt. Second, it sounds kinda like it objectifies women. Okay, it probably doesn’t. I should just remove the giant stick from my butt and accept that the ‘R’ that will be eventually gotten done is not a gender-specific ‘R’. But still. It isn’t funny.