I have female friends of whom I think very fondly, whom I hold dear. I enjoy them because they send me emails about medieval history. I enjoy them because they send me links to CakeWrecks and come over to my house to hang with me when I can’t go about the countryside the way I used to before I became the me I am now. I enjoy them because they remember the days when we named our fetal pig ‘General Math’ after our most hated class. I enjoy them because they remember driving home in the spring sun with Amy Grant cranked loudly. Angels were indeed watching over us.
I still don’t understand the concept of Girlfriends. That female friend whom you call every day no matter what. The woman whom you’d spend more time with than your spouse if you could. The person whose home you go to in the afternoon and whom you then text all evening. The person whose legs you shave, and who shaves your legs for you. (I am not exaggerating. I’ve seen it happen.)
Every now and again one of my female friends or acquaintances will fall into one of these Boon Companion relationships, and I always feel wrong-footed by it. It strikes me not as bad or wrong but as so wholly unfamiliar that I can’t really fathom it. It’s odd, because I can fathom lesbians and lesbianism. I understand that. But this sort of halfway, where they’re both married to men and yet married to one another in an emotional sense is something I’m trying to wrap my mind around.
My sister has two co-workers who are in one of these relationships. When one transferred to a different department, the other spent days in serious despair to the point where the rest of the team thought she might need a sedative. She eventually contrived to have their boss move her to the other department along with her Girlfriend. Now they’re having a joint baby shower because they contrived to get pregnant together.
I don’t get it. Perhaps it’s one of the side-effects of my personality. I’m introverted anyway, and more analytical than some. I’m not terribly comfortable with signs of affection with anyone other than my spouse. So I guess it’s just not on the cards for me to get that kind of relationship.
Funnily enough, I did have that kind of relationship at one point in my life. I met Jacqui at the end of 5th grade and up through 7th grade we were inseparable (except that she was a year ahead of me.) Literally inseperable. We loved Star Wars and D&D and wrote our own role-playing game. We spent hours watching Dr. Who and she kindly put up with my infatuation with Tom Baker. Every Friday night we went to the mall. Every Saturday we went to the Library or to the movies. Years later she announced that she was transgendered and changed her name. So I suppose in retrospect I can’t count it as a Girlfriend relationship at all.