I have some announcements for the world. They’re my Julia Sugarbaker speeches I want to give to the strawman character who is all set up for my icy middle aged woman takedown. Here we go, gang!
First, a non-Disney speech: Demeaning behaviour is demeaning. It doesn’t matter if you are a “cute fireman” or a “gross fat construction worker”. Looks don’t make it okay for you to catcall at a woman. When you catcall a woman it’s not flirtation. It’s a form of aural assault that says “I don’t care about you as a person, but as an object relatively pleasing to me.” When women greenlight catcalling from “cute guys” that’s like saying it doesn’t matter if the preppy jocks rape someone. After all, wealth and good looks are desirable, so any negative attention from wealthy or goodlooking people should be desirable as well. Nonsense.
Now The Disney Rants:
Companies are about making money. I know that you associate “Disney” with family-related fare. That doesn’t mean that Disney is Grandma. (Yes, I said this on Facebook, too, but I’m expanding it here.) You aren’t owed something special for having kids. The world doesn’t owe you a sort of break for that. Stop going into forums and saying “Disney is about family! They should make X family product more affordable to people with kids.” Here’s the thing. They have a wide range of products. Families with kids have a wide range of incomes. Just because you want to give your child X toy and it costs 30% more than you can afford does not mean that “Disney is ripping [you] off.” It just means that you are now able to teach your child the invaluable meaning of the word “no”. I guarantee she will hear it many times in her life. I’m sorry you can’t always get what you want. There should be a song about that.
On a related note: do not go to Disney World if you cannot afford to go to Disney World. Not everyone can. I’ve had more of my life than not where I couldn’t afford to go to Disney World. So I didn’t go. When I want to go now, I have to give up something else. For example, we only have (how pampered is that mindset?!? “only”) one car. That money we don’t spend on a second vehicle is what pays for a Disney World trip every 2-4 years. Yeah–we go once every few years. And we don’t go on other vacations. So don’t go into forums and start talking about how you make your family go into Pecos Bill’s and eat “salads” comprised of the condiments. The lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions and mushrooms are hamburger toppings. For people who buy hamburgers. The ketchup and mayonnaise are too. They are not “an easy dressing to make at the table!” Y’all sound ridiculous with these “money saving tips.”
And yes, I suppose it’s clear I spent some time on a few Disney forums today. I think I may have to stop doing that, because it’s increasingly less about reminiscing about the par and more about entitlement and thieving.
I love the column, so help me, I do, but here I have to sorta, kinda somewhat disagree.
I’ve come across more and more and MORE people who exhibit thin-skinnedness on a more and more alarming, disturbing level. I feel I “can” say this because, when I was growing up in the 60′s/70′s, I was diagnosed with “hypersensitivity”. What’s that? It’s means being thin-skinned, LOL! And That was considered a borderline mental instability. And what sort of things was I thin-skinned about?
How about having my books stolen in 5th grade and I was told to “get over it” that I wouldn’t be able to graduate. (Mom came down to “fix” that). Basically, a criminal act I wasn’t supposed to react to. Or the countless rumours that I was a slut in 8th grade simply because my breasts grew adult overnight. I hadn’t more than ever kissed one boy. The point being that I while I was considered thin-skinned then, today, the majority of people I encounter can’t believe I’m so tolerant.
But today? The most innocuous statements can get you in trouble. In most of Europe, to disagree with the facts of the Holocaust will get you imprisoned.
And it’s not that I’m defending horrible speech, but I must, even the Verbal assaults.
Because we’re supposed to be grown-ups. We’re supposed to give adult credence to the phrase of “sticks & stones”. We’ve all heard it before – we have to defend the KKK’s right to their own opinion because they can come after our opinions otherwise.
And believe me, I’d much rather deal with the catcall rather than having a teacher be patronizing to me, a boss shoving his superiority in my face, a cop threatening me or a parent guilting me. People much more intimate to us in our daily lives are capable of much worse hurt.
We cannot set ourselves up as the judges for anyone’s behaviors but our own. Personally, I’ve never been bothered by catcalls and I’ve received quite a few in my day. I think it’s because I ignored them, just like I was taught by older, wiser women. Just kept walking without changing my demeanor in the least. I have other, much more pressing matters of my own than to challenge every behavior that offends me. And most people I know do too.
And what happens when my personal behavior offends someone else? Will I be the victim or the perpetrator? And doesn’t that depend on which direction you look from?
And finally, just because some woman don’t mind the catcalling, it does NOT mean that she would accept being RAPED by the guy, cute or not! That’s an outrageous thing to say! And it would be only the sickest mind that could conceive that a smile would be indicative of a sexual invitation!
I’m going to give the male gender just a tad more credit (in general) than that!
Men can’t run countries as well as women can, but that doesn’t mean they are all potential offenders!
I’ve never been to any of the Disney parks. I loved the movies growing up, and even into my teen years, but I never really got the whole “You must spend insane amounts of money on a pilgrimage every so often to the shrine of Walt.” My family couldn’t afford to at all, but I’ve never felt a lack. it feels funny to hear people talk about it, to be honest.
The catcalls-eh, not my gender. Some things you can’t comment on because of that.
Love it when you re-state the obvious. Gets me all tingly.
Some of your posts make me glad I keep FB and social media interactions at arm’s length. The colossally self-absorbed give me migraines.
And no – I don’t do catcalls. (although I have had gay men come on to me.)
I’m not much of a Disney fan. I did love the wicked stepmother in Snow White, though. I mean, she turned green! What could be cooler than that?
And I don’t like strangers feeling that they have the right to monitor my appearance. But I’m not sure how that equates to having men come on to me. I mean, I’ve been catcalled and whistled at on the street, and I’ve been come on to by men. And so I’m pretty clear that those are not the same thing; they don’t take place in the same circumstances; the intentions are not the same.
Dontcha know? Apparently it’s a million times worse for straight men to have a gay man come on to them, than for anyone else to have somebody they are not interested in do the same. After all, right up until Matthew Shepard, “but he came on to me” was an effective legal defense for having beaten someone’s head in.
“Apparently a million times worse…”, eh? I know a couple women who’d disagree with that assertion. And the ‘gay panic defense’ was considered feeble long before the tragedy of MS.
And yet you equate a gay man making a pass at you with street harassment.
Tongue in cheek. Like the ‘tingly’ statement.
I suppose I could have though, if they actually threatened me. They didn’t so I laughed and moved on.
And it doesn’t alter your hyperbole.
My hyperbole? It was hyperbole to point out that Coble was discussing catcalls and wolf whistles, and that you associated that behavior with having a pass made at you, but that those are not similar behaviors? Oooooookaaaaay.
good luck, nm.