If you’ve read a few of the things I’ve written you’ll know that I proudly consider myself a feminist. If you’ve read a few more you’ll realise that my version of feminism sometimes differs from those who take louder, more central positions in the “battle” for “equality.”
Lately I’ve been watching some of the arguments going on in the Christian Church about women’s roles and women’s places and I’ve been repeatedly struck by the fact that a lot of the energy we should be using to focus outward is getting spent in fighting with each other over who gets to be The Pastor. In some ways it’s like watching little kids fight over who gets to hold the new kittens. In the passion of their argument the kittens get injured by the grabbing and squeezing and dropping and yelling. Or they wander mewling away to be lost in the brush or taken away by a bird. The fight goes on long enough that pretty soon the kittens are no longer the point–the argument is the treasure, the Rightness is the goal.
I was raised in a denomination that did not approve of women in the pulpit. When God called me to ministry I was confused…very. How was I to minister if I wasn’t able to become a minister? That was the question in the mind of an angry sixteen year old. Or maybe I was 17 or 18 or 19. It was a long road. For awhile I just got angrier and angrier. Who was The Church to stand in my way? God called me! God is bigger than The Church, right? Right?
Well, now I’m 42. Somewhere back there I learned to quit paying attention (for the most part) to what other people were doing and to just stick to my own knitting. Keep my eyes on my own paper–that’s the other cliche I rely upon. And it occurs to me that I HAVE been able to have quite a vibrant ministry by showing up where God tells me to show up. I can be where I’m supposed to be. I’m not the star of someone’s pulpit to be sure. I’m not the singing and dancing leader of a Sunday School department or the revered teacher of a Sunday School class. But I’m not here to be a star or a song and dance man or revered person. I’m here to carry the message, to bring the comfort.
I can’t speak to anyone else’s call. I know that for me some of the desire to be a minister was the desire to be The Minister. “Look at all the people looking back at me!” I don’t say that every woman’s call is like that; I don’t know what any other woman’s call experience is. And I certainly don’t think that women are any more or less capable than men. But I do think all of the fighting I’ve seen about the topic in recent weeks has NOT served the purpose of reaching people at all. It’s merely served to “throw stones at the Stained Glass Ceiling” as one blogger pithily put it. As though that were a good thing.
It isn’t. We play too cavalierly with the costly gift of Christ’s blood.
I certainly can’t speak to the fighting that you’ve seen about this particular topic, but I’ve read some things lately on this subject, and while it’s unfortunate how bitter the fighting can be, I can’t necessarily buy into the argument that we should use all of this energy on outreach and not deal with the equality problem. If the church’s stance on this (and I use the term “church” as the universal church, which doesn’t exist in a united form) alienates folks, and if that stance does not reflect God’s will for His kingdom, then it really is important.
I used to be in a faith tradition in which women were not allowed any role in worship or leadership. They couldn’t lead a prayer or a song. I’ve since left and am in a denomination where a women are able to serve in any role to which they are called. If the whole of Christianity subscribed to the norms of my former church, I wouldn’t lose faith in Christ over it. But it would prevent a lot of folks from coming to know Him. And I couldn’t “keep my eyes on my own paper.” Jesus made a habit of rocking the boat when it was necessary.
I do think some people love the fighting more than they love to share the Gospel. And I agree that we shouldn’t be too cavalier about how we resolve these disagreements.