This blog is going on eight years old. Eight. (That probably explains why I’m prone to giggle at the Ford Super Duty ads.) In all those years I’ve learned a lot about blogging. Most of it from messing up on my own, but some of it from watching others gaffe off. There are boring blog titles; endless video embeds from fatigued writers who want to say something without saying anything; chronic oversharers and horse corpse floggers galore.
If you were to take all of these annoying and/or dull blogging tics and wrap them around each other into a rubberband ball, that ball would be sizable, yes. However it could still be swallowed by the Monster Of All Irritating Blog Tics.
Now I’m not entirely sure of all the reasons I read blogs. I know I do it because I like to get other peoples’ points of view. I like to be entertained and I like to be able to comment back if something pleases or displeases me enough to warrant it. I’m sure there are other reasons I haven’t quite nailed down but the end result is that it’s free and I enjoy it.
In my Senior year of High School I took a World History Class. That class had the absolutely most maddeningly dull textbook in the history of textbooks–and that’s comparing it against Methods Of Statistical Analysis In Political Science. Perhaps the worst feature of that book* was the Essay Question roundup at the end of each blurb. Every four- or five-hundred words the book would prod you in the genitals of the brain to make sure you hadn’t yet died of boredom. 1. When he came to the New World, Cortez burned his ships. Why do you think he did this? Do you think this was a good idea? How do you think the lack of ships affected Cortez’ men?
To this day I absolutely HATE essay questions at the end of a brief reading. They seem pedantic (which is sort of the point of a textbook, I guess) and smug.
Yet people persist in putting them at the end of their blog posts!
Folks, I come to your blog to be amused. I come to your blog to see the world through your eyes. I do NOT come to your blog to be bullied into leaving comments. Maybe it’s because a lot of the people who are guilty of this are either pastors or Sunday School Teachers and they think every writing needs to be followed up with a Group Discussion and Altar Call. It’s probably a habit ingrained from years of repetition. But I swear, if you start asking me to bow my head, close my eyes and raise my hand if the post moved me to a greater commitment to Jesus Christ I will reach through the monitor and go all Simon Peter on your ear.
So what do you hate most about the blogs you read? Do you think the author is justified in her annoyance? If so, why? And what pies should she make for Thanksgiving? Please write your answer legibly in the space provided below.
*(aside from the sections with pages printed on a nice urine-yellow paper that triggered a year’s worth of cluster headaches)