No, I’m not putting spoilers in this. Especially since my better half hasn’t even cracked the cover. (See Below)
I loved the book, and loved it very much. Most of the fanboys hate it, but what can you do? If I liked things most other people liked I’d be waiting in line for beer at concerts. Ugh.
The one problem I did have with the book, though, can be summed in three words.
Words Are Wind.
Honestly, George. My theory is that when everyone was picking on Martin–and those buttstripes can be mean people–for not finishing the book on their personal timetables one of Martin’s friends must have said this to him to buoy his spirits. And it stuck with him, becoming his new life motto and, by default, the new life model of EVERY FREAKING CHARACTER IN THIS BOOK.
It was fine when it was just Dany saying it, because everyone has a thing they say over and over. With me it’s “Stop leaving your hedgehogs on the stairs.” But by the end of the book, if I had been drinking one sip of Coke for every time a character–any character–says “words are wind” I would have made it through one of those giant tubs they hook up to the restaurant soda dispensers.
It’s funny in another context because I’m having a discussion about accurately portraying God in fiction. And over there I say that we learn about God the way we learn about wind–by how they both affect the things we can see. Like trees (wind) and lives (God). And of course we know how I’m always going on about how words are the true magic. (Thanks for quoting me in this last movie, Dumbledore.) So in a way I guess I agree that “Words Are Wind”. In a different way. Words are how we learn about things we cannot see. Ways to colour in the mystery.
Still and all, I did get awfully tired of reading about it. That and apparently every room in Essos and Westeros has a barrel-vaulted ceiling.
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On another note, I’m still working on new e-Reader slang for reading.
Cracked the cover–”Opened the file” works, kind of. But it sounds very office-y. Quite unromantic.
Cracked the spine–I hate it when other people crack the spine on a new book. For Kindle books, I hate it when someone else reads before me and colours in the progress indicator. So I think I’m looking at “blacks the progress bar”. Not sure.
Dog-eared–Of course, Kindle “bookmarks” on the actual e-reader are little cartoon dog-ears. Of course they are. There is no way around it. On the reader apps for iPad and iPhone you get a little graphic that looks like a bookmark. But on the Kindle we are stuck with the same old ratty bent-over triangles. So I guess we can keep “dog-eared” in the parlance.
If you took a drink each time someone said words are wind, you’d be drinking much and more.
I laughed so hard at this. I tried to come up with a decently funny response. But I was sure you wouldn’t come back to check it. I figured you’d be off with Lancel or Osmund Kettleblack or Moon boy , for all I know.