May I Introduce You To Your Right Hand?

I just saw a commercial for Curves–the place where you can work out in thirty minutes or less or it’s free. Or something like that.

Apparently if we join now they will give us a free (!) breast self-exam kit.

???

Really.

Now maybe I’ve been doing it wrong the last twenty seven years or so, but last time I looked all you need is your dominant hand, the fifth day of your menstrual cycle and your naked breasts. I can’t begin to imagine what the “kit” would entail.

It’d be cool if it had a foam rubber boob. I’d like a foam rubber boob. Even moreso, I’d like a boob made from that grey green stuff that florists use. It’s the most fun stuff to poke–infinitely more fun than your own breast.

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