She’s Marrying A House!
May 12, 2008 by Katherine Coble
I now know two women in their 30s who are single and buying houses. As of noon today my sister’s offer was accepted on her place. Another friend of mine is looking seriously and will most likely have a house by Independence Day or soon thereabouts.
In thinking about it, I realise that I have at least as many single female friends as I do married ones. Maybe more.
I don’t know the intimate details of every one of my single female friends’ lives, but I do know my sister very well. If any of those other women are anything like my sister they’ve arrived at their middle thirties having gone to at least half a dozen weddings, a dozen bridal showers and as many baby showers as that–if not more. They’ve invested a lot in celebrating the culturally-approved significant milestones of other people’s lives.
I think there needs to be some type of equal celebration for single women who buy houses. The whole point of gift-giving showers for weddings and babies is to help out those we care about as they approach milestones in the road we all travel. Beyond the material significance there’s something important about the community lifting up its members as they do something magnificent and difficult. It’s a way to encourage the growth of community, to show love for others and to just plain celebrate the life of a person you love.
Twenty percent of first-time home buyers are single women. One in FIVE. I think its time we started celebrating that on the same level we do baby showers and bridal showers. Yes, these women could use the leg up (as could anyone) but they could also do with a bit of “conventional” society recognising them as the human beings they are. They could stand to have society say “yes, you may be doing it differently but you still count.”
These women–if they are anything like my sister–have spent years celebrating with their friends. It’ll be nice to see their friends celebrate them in return. (Look for announcements of parties coming soon.)
(And yes, I wish I’d been this bold when PK purchased her first house.)
Woo hoo! I love this idea. And not just because it means I can throw a giant party, but yeah, because it is good to mark important things. I wonder if I can register at Lowe’s or Home Depot? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
As a matter of fact, you CAN register at Home Depot!
This reminds me of the episode of “Sex and the City”where Carrie was so tired of all of the baby shower & bridal shower parties and gifts…and found herself wondering if she had made a mistake in choosing the lifestyle she was living rather than a more traditional path…and that there were no big celebrations for the single woman’s milestones…so she decided that she was going to send out an announcement that she was marrying…herself…and registered at Manolo Blahnik for shoes!
I think throwing a big “shower” for B when she buys her new house is a fabulous idea!!!
Maybe I’m out of touch, but isn’t it called a housewarming party?
Or is that a regional thing?
No, Heather, you’re not out of touch…it is called a “housewarming party” here, too… it would be fun to call it a “shower” to honor this milestone in a lovely single woman’s life, though…
It’s all in good fun!
But I don’t think that a housewarming party is exactly what Kat’s talking about. She seems to me to be talking about recognizing a rite of passage that we usually ignore, and creating a new ceremony/celebration for it. She’s noting that coming of age for many women, the point at which we formally recognize their womanhood instead of girlhood, doesn’t center around marriage (although these women may indeed marry). It centers not on union, but on independence: on buying oneself a house. And the celebration of that shouldn’t be focussed on the house itself, but on the independent woman who has purchased it.
At least, that’s what I get out of what Kat’s saying.
nm:
She’s noting that coming of age for many women, the point at which we formally recognize their womanhood instead of girlhood, doesn’t center around marriage (although these women may indeed marry). It centers not on union, but on independence: on buying oneself a house. And the celebration of that shouldn’t be focussed on the house itself, but on the independent woman who has purchased it.
Exactly. PK had plenty o’ stuff when she moved into her new place. She didn’t need shower gifts (although, she’s not one to refuse a gift card!). But a celebration of God’s blessings upon her and of the milestone (one of many in a person’s adulthood) would have been perfect! =) Wish I had thought of it.
nm, you said it perfectly…
Kat, you might have been more excited about it if I had been… instead of treating it like I had just bought another pair of shoes.
I still giggle every time I think about your reaction to what I said….
Kat: What did you do today?
PK: Oh, I bought a house.
Kat: WHAT?! You are.. so .. casual..
Or whatever it was that you said. It makes me smile.
Thank you for the thought. The love is appreciated!
Yeah, nm pretty much said what I was trying to say.
PK, I’ve got to say that I have never seen anyone so laid-back about house buying. It was kind of cute. ;-p
I always have said if the big celebration was for graduation (or home purchase) and a type of anniversary party (low key, small) replaced the wedding–then girls would not marry just to have a wedding-they would marry for the marriage. I am 40 and single and have been in 17 weddings! But, I wrote a fairy tale about a princess like me-www.PrincessBubble.com to show girls you can have happily ever after even if you don’t find a prince!