May I Be Perfectly Honest With You?

I know that it’s probably very uncool and extremely un-American for me to admit this. At the very least I expect more than a few cold shoulders at the next few social occasions on my calendar. But I have to say this. I have to be brutally honest.

The Speed Racer movie looks like a pile of celluloid throw-up.

I have read so many articles, both online and in print, which rave on and on about how Speed Racer is the best thing to happen to movies since Jason Segal’s penis. The press for the brave new technology is endless. Yet every time I see stills or commercials for the film itself it looks like a huge mess.

I am fully open to the possibility that the fault lies with me. I wonder if this isn’t the visual equivalent of those Youth Ringtones that are so high-pitched you can’t hear them if you’re over twenty-two. Maybe Speed Racer only looks cool if you are a fifteen year old boy. Or tripping.

Since I’m neither, I’m going on record as saying “Yikes” and skipping this one.