Let There Be Teh Funny

If you read this blog, talk to people who read this blog or hang out in my bedroom or living room around 3am you know I’ve been intensely grieving the loss of my dog. I’m better than I was say, oh, two weeks ago, but I still have my moments.

I need to laugh. Laughing is the antidote to tears–blah blah blah. I can be funny sometimes, but not under these circumstances. I need to regain my composure because I’ve got several people reading my blog and asking me via email if I think Baltar is Jesus.* This is what happens when you write about Battlestar Galactica and religion. Back to Teh Funny.

Allow me to celebrate loudly and longly over Rifftrax.

The guys who did MST3K always had one problem. They couldn’t get the rights to very many good movies. So while they were funny around bad, old stuff the show ultimately suffered and died (look, there’s Jesus talk again) because many of the movies were just unwatchable. Even with Teh Funny. I always wished the MST3K guys could riff on GOOD movies. Movies you don’t mind watching. They could never get the rights to rebroadcast the film. But now we have The MP3 file.

Rifftrax is essentially the MST3K soundtrack for all the Good (or at least watchable) movies you had hoped. It’s the same guys–Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy–with a few additions here and there. (Lileks will be riffing on Spiderman 3 soon and Neil Patrick Harris contributed riffs for Willy Wonka.)

I am now prepared to laugh.

*[Do I think Gaius Baltar is Jesus? no. I think that the writers are going to make a case for him being a Jesusish prophet in the whole "this has all happened before and will all happen again" vein. But there is no way they can make him The Jesus without really raising the ire of us Christian BSG fans out there. We'll talk later.]

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For Entertainment Purposes Only

Something I TiVo is on TLC right after “I Can Make You Thin”.  It may be “Little People, Big World”–I’m not sure.  [Although I will note that TLC doesn't have the unmitigated gall to run a show called "I Can Make You Tall", so at least they have some realisation that there are basic body types which cannot be changed. ]  The only bit of ICMYT I’ve seen is the blurb at the end–which always ends up clinging to my TiVo’d other-program like a barnacle.

“The following program is for entertainment purposes only.  Not a doctor Blahcakes blah blah not medical advicecakes.”

In other words, he can make you thin–only not really.   But for about 44 minutes plus commercials you can entertain yourself with the notion that if only you could adhere faithfully to this man’s sagacity you too could be someone you aren’t.  Of course, if you don’t get thin, you obviously failed because you didn’t do it the way he said to.   After all, HE can make you thin.   If only you’d cooperate, you shiftless dullard.

I believe that people can lose weight.  I know, because I’ve lost weight.   I’d imagine that over the course of my life I’ve probably lost a grand total of eight hundred pounds.   In fact, I’ve probably lost more weight than most Thin people.     Granted, it almost always finds its way back.   The Weight Watchers Bumper Sticker Thought Number 913 is that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.*”  This means that once I get done doing the various diet hokey pokeys and go back to eating human food at regular intervals I cannot maintain the artificial-for-me lower weight.

That’s why I don’t tune into weight loss programs for entertainment anymore.  That being said, if someone can tell me why all those people are poking themselves in  the eye on the commercials for this show I would appreciate it.   I’ve privately been referring to it as “Gouge Your Eyes Out To Get Thin — After You Watch My Show”.

*Ironically that’s why I stopped paying for Weight Watchers.  It’s insane to pay them when I never keep the weight off.

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