Everything I’ve started to write has sounded really artificial–like some submission to a university magazine where sophomore English Lit majors wax poetic about breakups and bad college sex. I’m stuck having bits and pieces of ideas, but nothing long enough for a Meaningful Post. So here are the abridged Meaningful Paragraphs.
[Okay. So I lied. Once I got started rambling about HGTV I couldn't stop and it goes on for a looooong time. So I just moretagged it.]
The Misuse Of Numbers
People who like numbers often say that they enjoy them because they are always concrete. Three is never five, and two plus two is always four. That reputation for absolute rightness that numbers enjoy is leading us to all kinds of problems now that the love of all things Science has morphed into ScienceLite. Schools think kids are not smart if they don’t get certain numbers on various tests. Magazine editors think you are unattractive if your dress size has double digits and insurance companies have put a lot of faith in the absolute cack of BMI. It seems that a lot of folks with weak ideas are trying to shore up their theories by trading on the “never wrong” rep of numbers. And it’s breaking society as we know it.
Post Inflammatory Arthritis Baby Presents
Patrick and Lydia have given birth to a baby boy. Well, Lydia anyway. Patrick contributed 50% of the genetic material and some other supportive stuff along the way, but I imagine Lydia bore the brunt of the exercise. Anyway, they’ve now got this baby and I realise that this is the second baby for whom I have been unable to knit a baby blanket. (The Sarcastrolet was the first.) That kind of ticks me off, because there’s something special about presenting someone with a handmade present that just isn’t there with the other stuff you give. Although I’m sure that truth be told all these parents would rather have something from a store than from my yarn bag. I realised that I need to buckle down and get them some kind of present instead of pouting about not being able to knit something. So P&L if you read this, that’s my problem.
My HGTV addiction By Show
The reality tv I fall back on during this time of strike is HGTV/TLC home improvement and remodeling junkets. I’ve now become an expert and will take this time to fill you in.
Flip That House
After watching about nine thousand half hour episodes I’ve decided this show could also be called Fools And Their Money. It’s gotten so bad that the newest episodes begin with a disclaimer about “real people risking real money” lest any of us other real people get an idea in our head. Most of the shows start out with someone in a) a low-paying service job like waiting tables b)an airy creative job like “the music business”[in Austin] or “the movie business” [in California] c)Real estate. This person announces that they’ve bought a house which looks like the Bradys’ Crack Den for half a million dollars and plan to take a stupid amount of time–oh, let’s say THREE WEEKS–to turn it into a hip masterpiece. We then watch them whack at walls, fight with contractors and realise that there are a lot of delays in the construction process. The last four minutes are spent on watching a realtor walk through the house, admire the granite countertops, travertine floors and new paint. The Big Moment comes when the realtor announces the list price of the house. They do the math and announce a projected profit of multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars. In the ones I’ve seen where they come back and find out what the house REALLY sold for and how long it REALLY sat on the market most people have either lost money or just given up and moved into the house. I’ve decided I don’t like this show because it’s all about greed and stupidity.
Property Virgins
LOVE this show. It’s the perfect antidote to FTH. Sandra, the host, is engaging and realistic. She’s able to keep people focused on reality without being cruel–which in many cases is very admirable. The premise is that first-time home buyers are preapproved for a certain mortgage amount and Sandra tries to find them a house that meets both their desires and their budget. I admit I have a certain amount of glee when people point out a house they think they’d like to live in and she kindly tells them that the house goes for about triple the amount they can afford.
I’m always amazed that she can find so many good homes for the prices people have to spend. About two-thirds of the time the PVs end up making an offer on a house and eventually buying it. I’ve never seen a home be purchased for the actual list price, which is another note for FTH-watchers. Just because the realtor says they’ll LIST it for a price doesn’t mean you’ll get that price.
House Hunters
What can I say? This is perfect for voyuers. You get to watch people tour three homes and then find out which one they bought and THEN see the house with all their stuff moved in. For people like me who like to take drives at night so I can peek in people’s windows and imagine their lives it’s awesome! It does bug me, though, that they’ve stopped telling the house prices. I think that’s important to know.
What’s My Home Worth?
I know that people’s houses are their biggest investment, etc. This show, though, kind of skeeves me out a bit. We get to tour people’s houses. They then tell us how much they paid for the house and how much they spent on upgrades. A realtor then tours the place while pointing out the features and flaws. There’s this corny pause where the homeowners wait to hear the Big Number the realtor has for them. Most of the time they want the valuation in order to get a large Home Equity loan for more renovations. But it still smacks of greed. I’ve seen people throw a fit because their house only appreciated $300K in two years. I just don’t get that mindset.
Hidden Potential
This is a fun show that combines elements from several others and comes up with a unique twist. Buyers are pre-approved for a mortgage amount and are taken through two or three homes which fall well under their budget. An architect or designer then does a 3D computer modeling of suggested improvements to the home that will make the house more suitable to the buyers’ needs. The part of me who likes the idea of recycling houses just loves this idea.
The whole scheme of fixing up older homes was what initially drew me to house-flipping shows before I got turned off by the naivete and greed of so many of the flippers. Hidden Potential is more my speed because it’s about families creating their homes tailored to their needs.
I don’t like Hidden Potential because, while you get to see what a house could be, you never get to see it done. Which I largely suspect is because most of the people who buy the house for what it could be (after saying how much they hate the house as it is), realize tearing down walls and rearranging floor plans in a house that they are currently living in, is a pretty MAJOR inconvenience (even if it is in their budget which I doubt sometimes when I hear them predict how much the renovation will cost). I like the idea of Hidden Potential, I’d just prefer to see some of the potential realized.
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I’ve come to love all these shows as well, as long as I DVR them. No commercials, more fun.
You are so sweet to want to make us a blanket. I agree that handmade things are special, and I love giving them. Don’t feel like you have to get us anything. Yes, I did bear the brunt of the exercise, including enduring natural childbirth, but Patrick has been very supportive.