I just received an email about the most pressing, concerning dilemma we all face right now. Just in time, too.
Is it about The War on Whichever Thing We Have a War On? No.
Is it about the upcoming presidential election? No.
Is it about health care? No.
Dear Katherine, how about a fun and light feature on Boss’ Day?
Fair, honest, understanding and approachable. These are some attributes that make a great boss. And with National Boss’ Day coming up on October 16, many employees are thinking about showing their appreciation to their managers.
Ah! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Yes, that’s what I’m concerned about. What to get my boss for “Boss’ Day”. Nevermind that this is the dumbest holiday I’ve ever thought of, beating Dental Hygeine Day by a mile. I’ve had a lot of bosses. Some good; some bad. But honestly, I’ve never been one to give presents to anyone who underpays me for the work I do or makes me cover shifts for colleagues with children because I “don’t have a family”.
Of course, there’s more:
In addition to sharing her thoughts on great gift ideas, she can also address these dilemmas:
Are there “safe” gifts or “bad” gifts?
You have more than one boss; should you give gifts to all of them?
How much is the right amount to spend?
Tips for gender-appropriate gifts
Is taking your boss to dinner a good idea?
If it’s a group or department present, what are some rules to stick too and how much is too much?
Those are the exact reasons why I opt out of Boss’ Day. Good or bad, I’ve always had more than one boss in every job I’ve worked. I also think it’s unreasonable for society to expect a person making $25-35K to buy four or five presents for people making three times that who don’t give gifts on Secretary’s/Administrative Professional’s Day.
In fact, the last two jobs I’ve had I’ve always gone to my direct-report and been very upfront about it. Politely upfront, that is. I usually say “Hey, let’s do each other a favour. Let’s agree to ignore both Boss’ Day and Secretary’s Day. Fair enough?” The last boss told me that right there was my Boss’ Day present given early. I say any gift-giving occasion interjects an unnecessary amount of politics in an already volatile political situation and is best done away with. Of course I can’t rule out Christmas and Chanukah, but I’m trying my best.
In fact, let’s add a little side-rant here. Offices are not egalitarian places. Not only do different people make different amounts of money, you often have no idea of the household financial situations of those people. Requiring gift exchanges or requesting donations in an office setting is generally a really bad idea. Odds are you have co-workers who are barely making ends meet and the extra pressure of requiring gifts from them is almost harassment.
I got my boss a musical card that has Michael Scott on it from the Booze Cruise and when you open it, it plays his little speech about leadership.
Had I not come across that card, I likely wouldn’t have gotten him anything at all. But this card was too good to pass up.
Oh, my personal Pet Peeve! I just forked over money for THREE attorneys in my office who are getting married, two of whom I don’t know, because the people collecting are combining the collection. As I fork over my money, I think grimly about my new mortgage, approximately twice the cost of my old apartment, and I know that the one attorney whom I DO know (a perfectly nice young woman, in fact), spent a thousand dollars on the SHOES she’s wearing at her wedding. The gown itself? Cost more. I remember back to when I paid for my wedding (to the man who is now my ex), and that thousand dollars paid for my entire wedding.
I’m sure I’ll be thinking about those shoes when I turn the heat down this winter.
And Christmas! Am I buying gifts for my family, whom I love dearly, this year? No; only for my godson. But will I wind up trapped into buying retaliatory Christmas gifts for the people I work with? Yes, I will. Perfectly nice folks, but they’re not friends. We don’t go out to lunch, nothing like that at all. But I’ll be buying THEM presents, and I won’t be buying them for the people I love. I HATE it. I’m a single woman, officially tipping over into “elderly” (according to vintage catalogs – I’m 50), and I’m buying crap that I can’t afford for people who didn’t even wish me a happy birthday. I resent the hell out of it.
Am I buying gifts for my family, whom I love dearly, this year? No; only for my godson. But will I wind up trapped into buying retaliatory Christmas gifts for the people I work with? Yes, I will.
There have been many a year where I’ve lived through the exact same scenario.
I hate the office gift giving situations. Not long ago, one of the lawyers in my office helped our receptionist pick out a computer for her home. About a week later, some gift-giving-everybody-needs-to-contribute occasion arose. The lawyer told the receptionist that since he had helped her on the computer selection, she could kick in the $5 for him.
I was sufficiently appalled that I reimbursed her the five bucks. Personally, I avoid almost all gift giving situations.
This reminds me of the teachers who suck up to the principal by having their kids make stupid signs for him for bosses day to try to make the rest of us look bad. Excuse me, I was busy actually trying to teach the children something, not use them to kiss up to my boss!
It’s like what my parents would say when I asked why there was a “Mother’s Day” and “Father’s Day,” but no Kid’s Day – “Every day is kid’s day.”
[...] Requiring gift exchanges or requesting donations in an office setting is generally a really bad idea… [...]