Fat Thelma Goes To Indiana
July 14, 2007 by Katherine Coble
I rode 7 hours in a car with my sister to get here. She was born on July 14th, and so was my dog. I feel bad for missing my dog’s birthday, but I don’t really imagine he’ll notice. As long as someone (hint hint, husband) gets him a can of moist dogfood to celebrate his turning eight, he’ll be happy as a clam.
My sister, on the other hand, is providing a cake that I WILL enjoy–seeing as I’m not personally wild about canned dog food–and we’ll also go swimming and have the kinds of family times the people at Hallmark dream about. Hopefully those won’t be punctuated too often by the kind of family times the people at rehab centers count on to earn a living.
The rest of this week will be all about swimming, going to the Three Rivers Festival, preparing for our Giant Family Reunion and going to Harry Potter parties. (Just to clarify, the size of the reunion is large. We are not a family of giants. Nor are we a family NAMED “Giant”.)
I’ve been unusually stressed–so much so to the point that I’ve been calling Ivy and using swear words over the phone in such a way as to make Ivy believe she’s receiving collect calls from a stevedore. Hopefully swimming in a pool and eating cake and working in front of a different computer will remedy some of that.
I’m torn about this, because I’ve left Husband at home to guard our children, our possessions and our livelihoods. I miss the husband and children and about 2/3rds of our possessions. (I really am getting sick of that couch in the basement.) But the time away should be good.
I had a great drive up with my sister. We stopped in Pendleton, Indiana for gas and I bought us Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Bars. I remarked that it was like Fat Thelma & Louise, where we went on a healing road trip but ate ice cream bars instead of shooting people. I’m thinking of changing my name to Fat Thelma. Attractive, no? But seriously, it reminded me of just exactly WHY I hate that movie so much. Women don’t need to shoot people and blow up semi trucks and sleep with Brad Pitt to have a good time. (I’m not a big Brad Pitt fan.)
I woke up about an hour ago, completely unable to sleep, and decided that I would write. Which is why there is this rambling nonsensical blog entry here. Unfortunately, I’m no less awake than when I started typing. Oh well.
I would go sit in the pool, but it’s 56 degrees outside. Fifty-six. And they wonder why I left Indiana.
Women don’t need to shoot people and blow up semi trucks and sleep with Brad Pitt to have a good time.
Some of us do.
Sometimes I think laughing so hard that you have to pull over, because neither one of you can see after one of you makes an inane comment that makes no sense whatsoever but is bone-jarringly hilarious about two hours into a road trip, is better than blowing up a semi. And less likely to involve posting bond or insurance people.
I wouldn’t care about the Brad Pitt part; he does nothing for me. If it was Goran Visjnic on the road trip, though, I might change my opinion.
Here’s hoping y’all continue to have a fantastic time. Just channel your inner Susan Sarandon and life will be lovely.
Nothing wrong with sleeping with Brad Pitt now and then…but I draw the line at shooting people. Mostly.
Nothing wrong with sleeping with Brad Pitt now and then…but I draw the line at shooting people. Mostly.
Here, here.
Well, I didn’t mean Brad Pitt specifically. I thought he was just a generic marker for hot young thing.
Well, I didn’t mean Brad Pitt specifically. I thought he was just a generic marker for hot young thing.
I meant Brad Pitt specifically
“Women don’t need to shoot people and blow up semi trucks and sleep with Brad Pitt to have a good time. (I’m not a big Brad Pitt fan.)”
“If it was Goran Visjnic on the road trip, though, I might change my opinion.”
I must say I agree with both of these statements.
If I saw Brad Pitt by the side of the road, I would speed up just to get away from that jerk!
I must say, we are all thrilled to have Kath up here in Indiana. What a treat for my b’day! Everyone here is thrilled to have her here.
You better stop raggin’ on Indiana, though girl! It has been in the eighties today, sis!
50s in July? Kat, just wait until you’re menopausal. You’ll think 50s in July is a gift from heaven!
(And so is Brad Pitt)
“Women don’t need to shoot people and blow up semi trucks and sleep with Brad Pitt to have a good time. ”
I do, on pretty much all counts. But you aren’t really surprised are you?
I can compromise with the, “____” insert hot younger man of your choice here, clause.
Make mine a couple of chocolate-covered peanut butter ice cream bars and a side order of Gerard Butler (just don’t let him sing to me), and I’m with ya.