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Archive for June, 2007

According to the Entertainment Weekly I was just reading in the bathroom, there is a big writers’ strike looming on Hollywood’s horizon.   Like everyone else in America, the Writers of Great TV (Vanished. Twenty Good Years) do not believe they are properly compensated for their work.   They are going to go on strike to show the Big Corporations how badly the Corporate Bottom Line will be affected by the loss of Great TV (Pirate Master.  Six Degrees. The Nine.)

The article–which I tried to find on the Internet, but failed–talks about how much ground the Writers lost during their last big negotiation in 1988.   But the really good part, the part that made me laugh out loud in the bathroom at 5:30 in the morning, was where this one dude said something along the lines of “now the Internet is here, and with YouTube revolutionising the distribution models we the writers no longer need Big Corporations to distribute our product.”

Ha!

That’s extremely funny.  Writer Dude, I can’t even find this news article online.  The Internet is a big place.  It’s a big place chock full of talented writers who are hoping and praying and typing their fingers to the nub that they even get looked at by an agent.   There are not many–if any–writers out there pulling down big bucks by putting their homecrafted sitcoms on YouTube.

In fact, do you even get what YouTube is?  It’s a bajillion videos of people’s cats playing on the curtains with purloined Dave Matthews music as the soundtrack.  It’s a vast wasteland of copyright violation–a no-man’s land of stolen work product doled out piecemeal.   All those  “quality shows” you have been paid princely sums to write have their funniest three minutes aired for free on YouTube.   The only people making any money out of the “YouTube Phenomenon” are the two guys whose idea it was.  They sold that enterprise to Google for a sum approaching the net worth of the entire continent of South America.   Google still hasn’t figured out how to make YouTube pay for itself.   They certainly won’t give you piles of cash for your sitcom.

Here’s the thing.  If you’ve been lucky and/or good enough to score a writing gig for Network Television, and the show you wrote is now being sold online at the Apple Store or Amazon UnBox, then by skippy you should get a portion of that revenue.  Absolutely.

But please know that you look silly when you threaten to take your ball and go to the Internet for big writer money.

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When you come home from a week away and you:

1. Kiss your husband

2. Hug the dogs

3. Feed the dogs some leftover prime rib you’ve been saving from last night’s supper and hauled 200miles just for them.

4. Eat a piece of the candy you bought from Russell Stovers Outlet

5. Check your email

6. Check your blogs

7. Write a blog post

8. Make a slideshow of your vacation pictures in iPhoto

9. Write another blog post about your last blog post.

10. Shower and unpack.

(Of course, I haven’t done the “shower and unpack” thing, because I’m too busy trying to pick a good song for the slideshow. I’m darned if I’m gonna use “Rocky Top”….as obvious a choice as that is.)

UPDATE:  I decided to go with the theme to “Firefly”–I figured the whole “You can’t take the sky from me” and “there’s no place I’d rather be since I found serenity” fit well with the whole mountaintop cabin thing.  It’s probably better than my second choice, which was Johnny Cash’s “God’s Gonna Cut You Down.”

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I’m Back.

And in one piece…

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I’ve been seeing a rash of IntelliSpam lately.

Frankly, I think this type of Spam is in some ways worse than your garden-variety “Hi, nice site xanax big penis big boobs” stuff.

IntelliSpam is a human being typing a comment and then appending, for no contextual reason, a link to their site. It’s long been considered poor Nettiquette…which means that it’s long been part of the Net.

Here’s my thinking: Your URL on this (and other WordPress blogs) is part of your name. If you enter it into the comment field when you sign in, anyone who wants to see “where you’re coming from” can click your name to go back to your blog. Putting your out-of-context URL in the text of a comment turns whatever insightful thoughts you may have left into blog spam.

It’s like walking into a cocktail party and saying “Hey! I like the cocktail weenies! If you guys want a real party, come to my house!!” It’s an insult to the host and the previous conversation.

At least that’s how I see it.

The one difference–and I probably say this is a “difference” because I’ve done it–is when the comment conversation touches on something you already wrote on your blog, so you link back to that post and say “as I said yesterday” or “last year when I wrote about my experiences with the same company”. That’s a form of shorthand, so you don’t have to repeat the whole conversation in its new context.

This little blog of mine gets a fair number of hits per day. When it first started, I remember being thrilled with 20 hits in a day. But as I became part of conversations around the blogosphere, I started getting more readers. When NiT linked me, I got even more. That’s how blogs build traffic–by becoming part of the community. Or showing pictures of cats. Your choice, I guess.

But this other thing–this spamming–it’s just rude.

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I’ve been reading a lot more blogs lately.

If your blog exists primarily to sell something, I do not enjoy it. Now, say you have a blog that has built a relationship with readers over a long period of time, and you decide to use an entry or two on that blog to sell photos you’ve taken, books you’ve written or scarves you’ve knit. No biggie. But if the entire point of your blog–more than 90% of the entries–are about books, photos or scarves for sale it’s not really a weblog, per se. It’s an ad campaign. Nothing wrong with that in and of itself, this being a free country and all. I just don’t enjoy it.

If your blog is full of yellow journalistic turns of phrase, using words like Dhimmicrat and Rethuglican, and constantly talking about half this country as though they’re less than animals I don’t enjoy it.

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Dear You

These are various notes I’ve saved up for various different people.  You know who you are:

  1. I do not want to keep looking at pictures of your stank shoes.  Quit posting them.
  2. Why do you  keep marking things as Unread which I have already Read.  You make my task of reading blogs practically Sisyphean.
  3. Call me back.
  4. If you are going to take the last item on sale in the store just as I’m reaching for it, don’t turn to me and gloat.  It makes me want to kick you in the buttparts.
  5. If you want me to use yer nifty service to keep in touch with friends, make sure your nifty service works.  Right now I feel like I did in fifth grade when everyone got invited to the slumber party at Jenny-with-an-ie’s house except me.   I heard parts of what went on but wasn’t in on the full fun.  Blast you for making me feel inferior.
  6. Since the Festivities for the new Harry Potter begin on Friday, I’m counting down to Friday the 20th instead of Saturday the 21st.  Quit snarking at me for being “a day off” or “a day wrong”.   It’s my sigline and my countdown.  I presume you have your own bloody countdown. So step off.
  7. For the last time, we don’t want to hear your theory about how Fawkes is a Horcrux and everyone is going to die at the end.
  8. Youth ministers bug me.

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I’m doing most of my blogging at Nashville Is Talking for the time-being.

I’m not leaving this place at all, but I’m writing much more over there. (Hint: Mom & sister.)

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